Gun Humpers Will Defend Your Grocery Chain From All The Swears
Hey, kids, time for yet another business to become thetarget (ha-ha!) of the open carry debate in These United States of Texas and the Other States. In reaction to open carry demonstrations in Ohio and Texas, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, a group whose goals we admire but whose name makes us roll our eyes, plans to pressure Kroger stores to not allow open carry, which is just phase one of their insidious plan to bring about a Nazi regime in America, of course.
The group also cited more than a dozen shootings at Kroger stores since 2012, without pointing out that every single one of them could have been stopped by an armed bystander, in the imaginations of open-carry activists. Spokeswoman Erika Soto Lamb argued:
"Kroger employees shouldn't have to determine whether the person holding a gun in the frozen aisle is someone dangerous or someone making a political statement[.]"
But isn't the real question whether they're squishing the fucking bread? If people can't open carry in a Kroger's, how are they to defend themselves from Cursing Mommies? Has Ian Frazier had a chance to weigh in on this?
HuffPo reports that Kroger spokesman Keith Dailey said that the company has no plans to change its current policy, which is simply to "abide by state and local laws":
"Millions of customers are present in our busy grocery stores every day and we don't want to put our associates in a position of having to confront a customer who is legally carrying a gun," Dailey said. "We know that our customers are passionate on both sides of this issue and we trust them to be responsible in our stores."
Hahaha, responsible behavior in a grocery store, sure. And for that matter, responsible behavior around guns -- this guy is a million laughs. For what it's worth, that was also Target's policy before increasing pressure from gun safety advocates pushed for change, so let's see how well that works out for Kroger's.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.