We aren't going to start suddenly liking Ralph Northam again, mind you.
Following last Friday's mass shooting in Virginia Beach, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam said Tuesday he will call the state legislature into special session to consider several bills aimed at stopping all these GODDAMN shootings. Among the measures Northam wants to sign are a ban of high-capacity magazines and of suppressors (don't call them "silencers" or the gun-humpers will yell at you), both of which were used by the shooter last week. Northam said, "The nation will be watching," and wants lawmakers in the Republican majority to go on the record with their votes on all the bills, not just kill them off in committee.
The AP reports Northam wants the legislature to consider a number of measures, including
a ban on silencers and high-capacity magazines, as well as a broadening of the ability of local governments to prohibit guns in city buildings. The governor said he also wants mandatory, universal background checks before gun purchases; a limit of one handgun purchase per month; and a "red flag" law that would allow authorities to seize weapons from people deemed a threat to themselves or others.
"I will be asking for votes and laws, not thoughts and prayers," he said, mocking the usual response to gun violence by supporters of the gun lobby.
The Republican speaker of what normal places would be called the state House or Assembly suggested a special session was just a terrible idea, given that Northam was caught up in that ugly blackface scandal a few months back. Kirk Cox said calling for a special session was "hasty and suspect when considered against the backdrop of the last few months," which the AP says referred to the blackface mess. But considering the ongoing implosion of the National Rifle Association, which is based in Virginia, perhaps Cox thought it was unfair to talk about guns in this difficult and tragic time for Republicans' loved ones.
Thank heaven there aren't any other armed bigots out there.
A 28-year-old Irvine, California, man pleaded guilty Friday to multiple charges involving a plot to attack three houses of worship in Orange County, along with an illegal firearms possession charge that was unrelated to the planned murders. Rest easy, America, we're probably starting to run out of armed white supremacists by this point, don't you think?
The would-be Aryan warrior was arrested in April 2018 after his parents heard him saying a lot of anti-Semitic stuff, including a wish to "get a gun and kill some Jews."
Orange police officers searched [the man's] apartment and found ammunition, anti-Semitic literature and "kill lists" of Jewish community members, which included well-known names in the entertainment industry. They also found notes referring to a synagogue in Irvine, a Greek Orthodox church in Irvine and a Russian Orthodox Church in Lake Forest, in the latter two cases over sympathies the churches expressed to Jewish people.
In addition, investigators found a breadth of internet searches of white supremacy ideology, anti-Semitic literature, and the effective range of a silenced .22 long range rifle.
We should add those were cops from the city of Orange, and that their complexion doesn't enter into it. Also, in addition to the target list and the animus against Jews and Orthodoxers, the guy had written out a list with the steps he would take toward "killing my first Jew."
The man's attorney, Brian Gurwitz, said there was no need to get too upset about all this, because
It's The Sunday Show Rundown!
It seems like this week the concentrated political idiocy was all found in two places, NBC's "Meet The Press" and ABC's "This Week." And much like a Gozer the Gozerian of bad political takes, Chuck Todd was mostly there to usher in all forms of the stupid. So allow me to "bust" these morons for you.
I Ain't Afraid of No Chucks media3.giphy.com
We formally begin with Trump
Coven Administration head of the Office of Budget and Management (OMB), acting Chief of Staff, and full time asshole, DMick Mulvaney on "Meet The Press." Mulvaney, as with every appearance he made this week (and any other week for that matter), had plenty of gems to deliver. After the tragic Virginia shooting on Friday that killed 12 people, Mulvaney was asked what Trump plans to do about it. Mulvaney decided to keep the "Thoughts and Prayer" cannons at home and skip straight to the "Don't politicize this" step of conservative inaction:
At some point we have to admit that this isn't working.
Friday afternoon, 12 people were killed in a shooting massacre at the Virginia Beach Municipal Center. Police are still unaware of what the shooter's motive was, and quite frankly, it really doesn't matter, does it? 12 people are dead, he's dead, and knowing "why" he did it isn't really going to help anyone at this point. It's not going to bring them back and it's not going to stop the next mass shooting.
Here are their names:
Laquita C. Brown of Chesapeake; Tara Welch Gallagher of Virginia Beach; Mary Louise Gayle of Virginia Beach; Alexander Mikhail Gusev of Virginia Beach; Katherine A. Nixon of Virginia Beach; Richard H. Nettleton of Norfolk; Christopher Kelly Rapp of Powhatan; Ryan Keith Cox of Virginia Beach; Joshua A. Hardy of Virginia Beach; Michelle "Missy" Langer of Virginia Beach; Robert "Bobby" Williams of Chesapeake; and Herbert "Bert" Snelling of Virginia Beach.
It's going to go like it always goes. We're going to scream for gun control, and the gun nuts will say horrible and insensitive things and nothing will happen.
The state of Virginia does not require a permit for open carry, or a permit of any kind, period. They allow anyone over the age of 18 to purchase a semi-automatic weapon. They do not require background checks for private gun sales. There is no restriction on magazine size. This will most likely not change any of that. Tim Kaine was not even able to get background checks for those private sales through after 32 people were killed and 23 were injured in the Virginia Tech shooting, so why would anything change now?
Mutually Assured Destruction.
Pour one out for Dana Loesch, you guys, but make sure not to get any of that Superbeets on the carpet, because that shit stains like crazy. Looks like NRATV may be about to get the axe, which means no more $1 million salary for Loesch to make videos watched by a whole ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE each. Sad!
Whatever will our nation do when we can no longer tune in to see Dana Loesch put a Klan hood on a toy train to protest multiculturalism? Will the Second Amendment go limp without someone to stroke its constant rage boner while inveighing against socialized medicine and "media elites"? How have we reached such a sad pass?
Well, of course, it all starts with money. Specifically, the NRA's sudden realization, first revealed by the New Yorker, that the New York Attorney General was not joking about forcing the NRA and its charitable foundation to tell the truth about how it was spending its hundred of millions of dollars in annual revenue. Particularly when that funding was being spent in "related party transactions," that is, for the benefit of a person or entity related to a board member. Why it never occurred to the NRA that they needed to comply with federal and state law by disclosing the millions of dollars in business with board members is a mystery for another day. The fact of the matter is last summer the leadership had a come to White Jesus moment -- after which, they set about righting their books.
That's one hell of a CPM.
We've been covering the grifting, self-dealing, back-biting, and civil waaaaarrrrrrr at the NRA quite a lot lately. This is because we love it when bad things happen to bad people. But sometimes good things happen to bad people. Like NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch.
Earlier in the week, when Five Dollar Feminist was researching whichever NRA post she was researching -- there were a lot okay?! -- she asked me how many individual ("unique," AND YOU ARE!) readers come to Wonkette every month, so she could compare it to this quote from wherever:
But Ackerman [McQueen, the NRA's ad agency, which is taking $40 million from the NRA per year] declined even to provide the N.R.A. with internal statistics on NRATV's viewership. A review of data from Comscore, which tracks web traffic, suggests why that might be: The NRATV site had just 49,000 unique visitors in January, and less traffic in March than Oklahoman.com, the website of Ackerman's hometown newspaper.
YIIIIIIKES, I said. Wonkette's unique readers -- which are at a record low since Facebook continued boning us and also you all got depressed by Bill Barr's interpretive dance about the Mueller Report -- were 459,000 in January, down from a much nicer average of 800-900k. But I wouldn't make too much of it, I said: Doubtless all NRA-TV's viewers were watching them at Youtube. When will I learn to stop being so fair?
No, really, please let us know.
A federal judge in Anchorage, Alaska, has decided to keep a 19-year-old in detention after prosecutors presented evidence that the lad may have been intending to commit an act of mass murder. Michael Graves is charged with buying and building illegal weapons, and an FBI agent testified Graves had posted numerous comments to social media calling for violence against minorities and referring to stockpiling guns and ammunition. But wait, how is this all that difference from Christopher Hasson, that Coast Guard Nazi guy who stockpiled weapons, and beyond that, wrote about wanting to commit mass violence to bring about a white homeland, and even had a target list of enemies he wanted to shoot? Another federal judge said that was disturbing and all, but planned to let Hasson out on bail because federal prosecutors never charged him with anything more serious than drug and gun possession crimes, never mind a court document asserting he was a domestic terrorist. (Domestic terrorism is not a "crime.") Fortunately, a higher court ruled Monday that Hasson will remain in jail until his trial, too.
No, we're not arguing Michael Graves should be released. Just that there seems to be a hell of a lot more evidence that Hasson had violent intentions and how the hell could any judge have even considered freeing him?
2019 is weird AF!
Why is the NRA spending upwards of a million dollars per month on legal fees? How the hell did they manage to shell out $97,787 every single day of the first quarter of 2019? How come the new NRA president Carolyn Meadows was very concerned about it last April, but now says it's all fine? And are these assholes really going to make us switch to #TeamOliverNorth?
Just kidding, of course not. We hate all of them!
When last we left our intrepid band of gunhumpers, then-president North and a cabal of board members had attempted a coup against Wayne LaPierre, alleging wild spending by the NRA CEO. Yesterday the Wall Street Journal produced letters from longtime NRA PR company Ackerman McQueen (AMc) that purported to show hundred of thousand of dollars in expenses hidden in the advertiser's own books. North has also alleged massive overpayment of legal fees to the NRA's lawyers at Brewer Attorneys and Counselors. Throw into the mix a lawsuit by the NRA to force AMc to turn over details of its payments to North and you've got yourself a fucktussle with absolutely no good guys. Which is very on brand for the death stick lobby!
TFW your Glock 9 is clean, but your 990 is DIRTY.
These gun nuts do not play nice! In the run-up to the NRA's April 29 board meeting, then-president Oliver North teamed up with the gunhumpers' longtime advertising company Ackerman McQueen (AMc) to attempt a putsch. They threatened to release damaging info about the NRA's finances if Wayne LaPierre didn't quitfire himself immediately as CEO. Except Wayne called Ollie's bluff, the board stuck by him even after AMc pulled the trigger and sent them the dirt, and Ollie was immediately replaced with Carolyn Meadows, Your Confederate Granny.
We can't wait for the cable miniseries.
A militia leader from Washington state was arrested last week in West Virginia and will be extradited back to Washington after allegedly trying to extort money from members of his own little band of patriots. James "Russell" Bolton was arrested by West Virginia state police Thursday at his parents' home in Princeton, West Virginia, after a Washington judge signed a warrant on five counts of extortion and one of attempted theft. Bolton had allegedly left letters outside some of his militia pals' homes, threatening dire consequences if the victims didn't come up with large amounts of cash. The letters implied the threats were from Mexican drug cartels, which as we all know regularly target goofball militia dipshits.
Gee, who ever would have thought anyone in the wingnut militia movement would do something like that? Before you get all judgey of Mr. Bolton, keep in mind It's all probably a plot by the New World Order and international bankers to make patriots look unstable.
She seems horrible.
Dana Loesch won't stop being horrible. After yet another school shooting, the NRA cheerleader has scrambled to pin the blame on anything that's not a gun or gun shaped. She's currently going through the five stages of grift.
We think they're tired of being shot, Dana. Also you exploit people's fears for a living.
"How did two kids gain access to guns when guns are fucking everywhere, thanks to people like me?" Lady, minors live with adults. That's how it works. Your moronic organization has even opposed bills requiring parents to lock up their guns in a safe so children can't get to them.
You wonder how kids smuggled handguns into a school. They probably hid them because handguns are easily concealed. (Colorado is a concealed carry state.) And also, they are guns. A heroic child tried to stop the shooters and was murdered for his trouble.
Oh, and therapy is not a "warning sign" of potential homicidal impulses, you heartless hack. You just slandered countless kids.
America is an embarrassment.
There was another school shooting Tuesday. There's always another school shooting. This one was in Denver, not far from Columbine High School, where 11 people were murdered 20 years ago. We've learned almost nothing since then.
About 1,850 students attend the STEM School Highlands Ranch, which covers K through 12. One of those students lost his life yesterday and eight were injured. The shooters are believed to be students, one an adult male and the other a minor. They entered the school and commenced their rampage just before 2 p.m.
"Over the next few minutes, quite a few shots were fired," Douglas County Undersheriff Holly Nicholson-Kluth said."
"As officers were arriving at the school they could still hear gunshots," Nicholson-Kluth said.
Three students tried to tackle a gunman, but one was shot in the chest. His friends attempted to "stanch the bleeding by putting pressure on his chest" -- like they were in a war zone.
Now the grieving begins. Then comes the doing of nothing. Doing nothing about gun violence is the great American pastime. Doing nothing has the noble benefit of not "politicizing a tragedy." Decent people don't talk about today's school shooting. Why should they? They have last week's and last month's. Professional horrible person Dana Loesch's well-paid job is to attack anyone who dares suggest guns are responsible for gun deaths.
America will never be Australia. But we could sure as hell be Massachusetts.
After last year's massacre in Parkland, Florida, and the kids who inspired us to believe the NRA might actually be on the ropes (it helps a lot that they're so busy self destructing!), we're happy to see Cory Booker come out with a truly bold gun reform proposal. Where most Democrats have been talking up universal background checks -- which are still a good idea! -- Booker's proposal goes much farther than any of the more incremental approaches currently out there, including Kamala Harris's, which we liked just fine. Harris called for expanded background checks, an end to liability immunity for gun manufacturers and dealers, and closing a number of significant loophooles in who can pass a background check. But Booker's 14-point plan says, "Hold my beer. I'm gonna try something BIG." How about requiring a license, nationwide, for gun ownership, plus registration of all firearms? Get ready for the usual idiots to scream, but the research on gun safety laws suggests those ideas would work. And they would probably also hold up to legal challenges -- they have so far, on the state level.
That train is never late.
You may have your "data," but Carolyn Meadows has GUNS. The brand new NRA president has lived 80 years on God's green earth, and she knows a thing or two. So you can come to her with your fancy studies and surveys and whathaveyous, and she'll just use 'em for target practice. Did scientists and statisticians ever keep America safe? Carolyn Meadows thinks NOT.
For instance, pollsters may tell you that 67 percent of Americans favor stricter gun laws and that the NRA is only viewed favorably by 37 percent of us. But Carolyn Meadows tells the Marietta Daily Journal that's just because of Democrat lies:
"Basically, it's through ignorance that a lot of people, and not stupidity at all, but they don't know what we're about," she said of those against the NRA. "If you could get to every person out there, eyeball to eyeball, we'd have 50 million NRA members. A lot of Democrats believe like we do, but they've been misguided with the poor leadership at the helm of their party."
Sure you can cite studies showing that people with guns in their homes are almost twice as likely to be murdered as people without. And you might point to those depraved socialist wastelands in Northern Europe as proof of the proposition that people are safer when they don't all walk around with murder sticks strapped to their hips. But Carolyn Meadows is darn sure that an 80-year-old lady packing heat makes her church a safe place to worship white Jesus on a Sunday:
Go crap in the ocean.
GTFOH with that both sides BS! Like we Jews don't know who's shooting at us. Shouting "Ilhan Omar!" over and over won't hide the fact the the GOP brought these Nazis to the party. Republicans have been bedding down for decades with anti-Semites like Pastor John Hagee, who preach the Holocaust was part of the divine plan to get Jews out of Europe and into Israel to bring about Judgment Day. And now they're bringing the "very fine" tiki Nazis into the fold. Meanwhile, hate crimes against Jews jumped 37% between 2017 and 2019, and Saturday was the second synagogue shooting in six months. So Meghan McCain can spare (((us))) the crocodile tears about the anti-Semitic left endangering the poor Hebrews.
I do think when we're having conversations about anti-Semitism, we should be looking at the most extreme on both sides. And I would bring up Congresswoman Ilhan Omar and some of her comments that got so much attention, and in my opinion Nancy Pelosi wasn't hard enough in her response to her trafficking in anti-Semitic language, talking about 'all about the Benjamins,' and how Jewish people had hypnotized the world.
So, I think when you are talking about rhetoric, and you want to talk about President Trump -- and by the way I agree that he needs to have his feet held to the fire as well, but we're talking about it on both sides of the aisle as well.
WTF does Ilhan Omar have to do with some 8chan lunatic with an AR-15 whose manifesto refers to a medieval blood libel and who took credit for burning down a mosque? Nothing! And it's disgusting to use the body of Lori Kaye (may her name be for blessing), who was murdered trying to protect her rabbi, to bludgeon a Muslim congresswoman and the Democratic Party generally.
I have been critical of Omar's comments on Israel, but I sure as hell know who my friends are. See this picture of the Republican Jewish Coalition's Twitter page?
Notice anything funny, besides the fact that Liz Cheney got eaten by that eagle? Oh, right! The only two Republican Jews in Congress are Lee Zeldin and David Kustoff. Because despite furiously humping Benjamin Netanyahu's leg, Donald Trump is very, very Bad for the Jews. That's why upwards of 75 percent of us voted Democratic in 2018. Because unlike Megs -- "I don't technically have Jewish family that are blood-related to me doesn't mean that I don't take this seriously" -- those of us with actual skin in the anti-Semitism game know who is playing footsie with Nazis and who is not. Hint, it's not the party that sent 35 Jews to the House and Senate. But please, Mr. Trump, tell me more about how Chuck Schumer is anti-Israel, and Steven King is just a proud American.
Why'd Al Capone go to jail again?
Forget your dragon porn. The real action was in Indianapolis at the annual Gunhumpers and Notracistbutters Jamboree. Trouble's been brewing in Ammoland, with the NRA suing its longtime advertising company Ackerman McQueen to get an accounting of how exactly AMc is spending $40 million a year, most particularly how much it pays NRA President Oliver North.
But after dark, it turned into an episode of HeeHaw on moonshine. Friday night, news broke that North had tried to force out the organization's longtime CEO Wayne LaPierre. According to a letter from LaPierre published in the Wall Street Journal, North called up NRA headquarters and said Wayne needed to resign and pull the lawsuit, or else AMc was going to "smear" him with stories of financial impropriety and sexual harassment allegations against a member of his staff. It was DELICIOUS, and we came in on Saturday to write it for you. So read it, why dontcha!
©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc