White Nonsense

Trayvon Martin's POS Killer Sues Pete Buttigieg, Liz Warren For Aggravated Humanity

This guy never stops finding new ways to make us sick.

George Zimmerman, who fatally shot a then-17-year-old Trayvon Martin, has decided to sue actual human beings who expressed sadness over Martin's death. Zimmerman was not content to vanish after his miscarriage of justice acquittal. He periodically emerges from the bowels of hell and reminds people how repulsive he is.

Two weeks ago, on what would have been Martin's 25th birthday, presidential candidates Elizabeth Warren and Pete Buttigieg tweeted their condolences and benignly observed that racism and gun violence are bad.

Neither Democrat mentioned Martin's killer by name. Warren said Martin "should still be with us today," which is a fair and obvious statement to make about a person gunned down by George Zimmerman. Buttigieg correctly noted that too many "25th birthdays have been stolen from us by white supremacy, gun violence, prejudice, and fear."

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Virginia Nice Time Streak Ends As 'Moderate' Dems Help Kill Assault Weapon Ban

Who'd have thought walking the streets with an AK-47 strapped to your chest would prove persuasive?

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's push to make the state just a tad less lethal failed Monday when members of his own party shivved his proposal to ban the sale of assault weapons. Gun rights advocates cheered with profane glee when state senators voted to bury Northam's bill for a year. The state crime commission will presumably use that time to "study the issue." It's unclear how many more dead people and ruined lives you need to confirm that assault weapons are bad news.

Last May, 12 people were killed in a shooting massacre at a municipal building in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The same year, New Zealand banned military-style semiautomatic rifles and high capacity magazines less than a week after a horrific mass shooting in Christchurch left 50 people dead. This is not a compelling example of American exceptionalism. This nation is unable to seriously address gun violence, and it's probably because we take seriously people who parade around in public outfitted for war. This is somehow an exercise of their constitutional right to terrify and intimidate their fellow Americans. They consider any form of gun control morally comparable to Jim Crow laws (no, seriously, someone put that on a sign). They lack both an awareness of history and basic humanity.

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Cops Behaving Badly

How Many Liberals Can We Blame For The Shooting Of NYPD Officers?

It's a sick game with no winners.

Robert Williams shot two New York City police officers Saturday night. Sunday morning, he continued his rampage at a police precinct in the Bronx, where he opened fire and shot a police lieutenant. He also injured another officer who was trying to subdue him before being taken into custody.

This was a terrible act of violence, but now it seems the looming question is who else is responsible other than the actual gunman. The police union pinned blame on Democratic state legislators who are apparently soft on crime. Police Commissioner Dermot Shea believed police protestors were accomplices in the "premeditated assassination attempt."

SHEA: Just remember these things are not unrelated. We have people marching in New York City last week and I condemned it and I condemn it right here again today -- using profanities against the Police Department.

They are in fact completely unrelated. However, Mayor Bill De Blasio agreed with Shea's top-notch police work.

DE BLASIO: Anyone who spews hatred at our officers is aiding and abetting this kind of atmosphere. It's not acceptable. You can protest whatever for whatever you believe in, but you cannot vilely attack those who are here to protect us. It creates this kind of dynamic.

This a crazy irresponsible statement. Roughly 500 people gathered last month in Grand Central Terminal to protest the increased police presence in subways. Demonstrators held up signs stating "Poverty is not a crime" and "The real fare beaters are on Wall Street." Some even led a call-and-response chant: "How do you spell racist? N-Y-P-D." People might consider that rude, but it's also free speech. What it definitely isn't is criminal facilitation. Saying mean things about the police didn't provide Williams with either the means or the opportunity to shoot cops.

The mayor shouldn't use the term "aiding and abetting" metaphorically. It has a specific definition. If de Blasio has evidence that the protestors had previous knowledge of Williams's intentions and actively helped him in any way, he should contact the police. However, disagreeing with police tactics or even just straight-up disliking the police aren't the same on a moral or practical level as actually trying to murder police officers.

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Mike Love Continues Being The Worst, Hanging Out With Trump Junior At Trophy Hunting Convention Edition!

At this point, his commitment to being terrible is just impressive.

If there is anything I have ever known with absolute certainty all my life, it is that Mike Love is the worst. He has always been the worst. There has never been a period of time when he has not been the worst.

It's not just that he's a Republican. It's not just Kokomo. It's not just that he was an absolute dick to Brian Wilson and tried to screw with the magic that was Pet Sounds because he wanted to keep doing Surfin' Safari forever, or that he tried to force Wilson back on tour when he wasn't ready, pretty much causing Wilson's drug relapse, or that he kicked him out of the band and also sued him for songwriting credit on songs where he maybe contributed one sentence, or that he wouldn't let Al Jardine tour as Al Jardine of The Beach Boys, or that he screwed up the release of Smile, or that he lies about everything all of the time and tours as "The Beach Boys" with no other original members of the band — it is all of those things put together.

It is that, in every scenario in his life where he has had a choice to be an asshole or to not be an asshole, Mike Love has chosen the path of the asshole.

And so it is with this latest development, in which he and the rest of the fugazi Beach Boys are all set to headline the Safari Club International Convention in Reno, Nevada, which will celebrate trophy hunting and feature Donald Trump Jr. as a keynote speaker.

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Elizabeth Warren Promises Little Girl She'll Close The Camps

Wingnuts: You mean OBAMA'S camps, hurr hurr!

At a campaign rally in Keene, New Hampshire, Tuesday, Elizabeth Warren took a question from a little girl about immigration policy. It was a pretty good question!

Girl: My name is Elizabeth [last name inaudible, thankfully for her family]

Warren: Oh wow! Double Elizabeth. I feel the power.

Girl: I'm seven years old.

I'm not.

Girl: [purest loudest girly giggle you'll hear on video all week]
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Right Wing Extremism

Coast Guard Nazi Going To Prison. For The Mass-Murder Planning, Not The Racism.

Even though there's no law against 'domestic terrorism.'

White supremacist Coast Guard Lt. Christopher Hasson, 50, was sentenced on Friday to 13 years in prison after pleading guilty in October to four federal weapons charges.

Hasson was arrested in February of last year after authorities found a massive cache of guns and other weapons in the former Marine's home, along with various other materials detailing his plans to commit a massive domestic terrorist attack against American citizens— but primarily against journalists, commentators and Democratic legislators, whom he listed on an Excel spreadsheet. These targets included Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Nancy Pelosi, Angela Davis, Van Jones, Ilhan Omar, Maxine Waters, and the entire DSA.

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Gun Dealers So Happy They've Scared Women Into Buying More Guns

Las Vegas gun show targets women, other first-time buyers.

Gun manufacturers love to sell more guns, despite all the related, senseless deaths, and an emerging market is women. Rifles, shotguns, and other large penis substitutes were usually the guests of dishonor at the annual Shooting, Hunting, Outdoor Trade Show in Las Vegas. Now, the SHOT show (get it?) is highlighting "small, lightweight and concealable guns" because that's what girls like.

The Crime Prevention Research Center, a gun-rights group, boasted that the number of Americans with concealed-carry permits rose to almost 18.7 million in 2019. It was a still depressing 12.8 million in 2015. Gun lovers don't consider this statistic evidence that Donald Trump has made America significantly less safe. No, Trump's actually delivered exponentially more freedom for us than that tyrant Barack Obama. We're now free to secretly pack heat in the event someone at the supermarket tries to take the last melon from us.

Oklahoma and Kentucky legalized concealed carry without a permit last year, which on the one hand is really dumb but on the other, bloodier hand is great for business. Other states have reduced the cost of permits (firearm populism!) and "simplified" the tests for permits. We presume it's something like "How mad are you right now?"

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Post-Racial America

Angry White People With Guns Is Fulfillment Of MLK's Dream, Says Really Dumb Person

Did everyone forget that MLK was shot?

Monday was Martin Luther King Day, and some creeps thought this was an ideal time to protest reasonable gun safety laws in Virginia. Dr. King was the leader of a prominent non-violent movement. He changed the world without pulling a gun. Then a racist shot and killed him. Guns and Dr. King's legacy don't mix positively. However, Antonia Okafor Cover, spokesperson for Gun Owners of America, turned up on "Fox & Friends" Tuesday and suggested that the gun rally was the culmination of Dr. King's "dream." This was because it was not overtly a white supremacist rally.

COVER: This was by far, hands down, the worst white supremacist rally I have ever seen. There were people shaking my hand. I mean, they even let me speak, for goodness sake. So, it's almost as if MLK's dream to see that people judge people based on the content of their character and not the color of their skin had actually become reality,

First place, people of different races uniting to publicly hump guns was not in any way Dr. King's dream. He actively opposed the Vietnam War, which was an inclusive expression of American violence. There was more to Dr. King's dream than people being judged based not on the color of their skin but the content of their 45 calibers. He also dreamed that Mississippi would be transformed into an "oasis of freedom and justice." There's clearly still work to do.

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We Couldn't Even Go A Full MLK Weekend Without A Mass Shooting

This country's damaged.

It's Monday of the three-day Martin Luther King Jr. weekend, and you'd think the least we could do as a nation to honor his memory is go 72 hours without gun violence. It can't be harder than Dry January or Veganuary. We're not giving up booze or pretending to enjoy cauliflower "steaks." Why can't we take a pause on killing each other?

That's too much to ask, it seems. Last night in Kansas City, Missouri, a man opened fire on a line of people waiting to enter the 9ine Ultra Lounge bar. He killed one woman and wounded at least 15 people. There is no clear motive. An armed security guard killed the shooter.

According to the 9ine Ultra Lounge's Facebook page, last night was "Sold Out Sundays." This was apparently an event to celebrate the Kansas City Chiefs beating the Tennessee Titans and advancing to the Super Bowl. Jackson County Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker described the shooting as a "tragic end to such a wonderful day in Kansas City."

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Gun Nuts And Nazis Descend On Virginia To Protest Entirely Reasonable Gun Control Laws

A round up, of sorts!

Today, on a day celebrating the legacy of Martin Luther King, a man who was murdered by a racist gun nut, a bunch of gun nuts, many of whom are racist, are gathering in Virginia to protest some completely reasonable gun control laws proposed by the state government and supported by Governor Ralph Northam. So far, there hasn't been any violence, but given the fact that the rally is being attended by some of the most violent white nationalist groups in the country, don't hold your breath.

Last week, six neo-Nazi members of the violent white nationalist group "The Base" who had been planning to attend the rally were arrested for a variety of criminal behavior, including planning to murder some people and building an illegal assault rifle. For the past several weeks, other neo-Nazi and militia groups have been eagerly talking of their plans to attend the rally as well.

This morning, Donald Trump, acknowledging the protest, was quick to remind Republicans across the land that Democrats were coming for their guns by enacting super reasonable gun control laws aimed at curbing mass shootings.

Yeah, that's definitely not going to incite anyone to do anything untoward!

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Neo-Nazis Arrested Ahead Of Gun Rally Thought They Were Gonna Start A Race War

Are you for shocked?

Governor Ralph Northam has declared a state of emergency in Richmond, Virginia, ahead of a gun rally taking place there on Monday. Police are gearing up and weapons have been temporarily banned from the state Capitol.

It's not just any gun rally. It's not just a bunch of NRA twerps who want to deck themselves out like Rambo and scream "FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS" a whole bunch. It's a gun rally that will be attended by a bunch of right-wing militias and white supremacists — and in light of everything that's been going on for the last few years, the city is bracing for a potential armed conflict.

If anyone ever wanted an advertisement for restrictions on gun purchases, I'm going to say that a cavalcade of neo-Nazis screaming about a "race war" at the state Capitol of Virginia is a good one.

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West Virginia Delegate Not A *Super Genius.* He's Just The Regular Kind.

He's here to PEW PEW PEW some Constitution!

West Virginia's legislative session is less than a week old and things are already really stupid.

And I'm not even talking about making measles great again, outlawing almond milk, trying to steal counties from other states, or the fundamental American right to hunt coyotes with night vision goggles.

What I'm talking about today is a very special piece of legislation called the Firearms Freedom Act.

If you're new to West Virginia politics, it's time to take a swig of moonshine and huff a few sharpies, because we're goin' in!

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How's America's Well-Regulated Militia Protecting Freedom So Far In 2020?

Those aren't gunshot wounds, they're FREEDOM HOLES.

We're a week into the new year, and already America's Responsible Gun Owners are making clear just how responsible they are. For starters, here's the National Rifle Association and Ted Cruz (a wholly owned subsidiary of the NRA) warning that "The Left" is going to take your freedom, because The Left hates your freedom, making them no different from the 9/11 evildoers.

Weirdly, Cruz insists that if you aren't free to buy an AR-15 with a high capacity magazine, you'll become "dependent on government," probably because you'll need food stamps if you can't shoot 30-50 feral hogs a week. Maybe Trump is slashing SNAP eligibility to support gun rights. He also insists the the Holy Second Amendment is

about the God-given right [...] to defend your home, to defend your family, to keep your children safe. That's a right that is foundational. It is right at the beginning of the Bill of Rights, because without the ability to protect your life, to protect your liberty, all of your other rights can be taken away.

Now, if you want to get all technical about it, the sacred, foundational right of an individual to own a firearm dates from 2008, with the DC v. Heller decision, in which the Supreme Court for the first time in history adopted the NRA's interpretation. And for that matter, as this 2014 Politico piece (required reading for all Wonkette readers!) explains, even the NRA's maximalist position dates largely from the 1970s. The notion that the Constitution "always" protected an individual right to own a firearm, for self-protection and overthrowing a tyrannical federal government, is pure historical revisionism. It has a hell of a lot to do with the Goldwater-Wallace-Reagan wing of 20th Century conservatism than with Jefferson and Madison. "Original intent" my ass.

So how are Americans exercising their liberties in the first week of this shiny new decade? About as brilliantly as ever! Saturday in Milwaukee, two children, aged 12 and 13, were shot by some asshole because they had thrown snowballs at his car. Milwaukee police tweeted that

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2019: The Year The Gun Lobby Shot Itself In The D*ck


Lift your glasses and drink a toast to 2019, Wonkers, because this was the year the NRA as we know it died. Oh sure, the gunhumpers lobby is still stumbling around like a dangerous drunk, hurling insults and lawsuits. But the NRA will never again re-establish its stranglehold over American politics. This year, the self-dealing and grift at the core of the organization was laid bare, and now it's just a mad rush for the principals to steal as much as they can before the entire edifice comes crashing down around them. YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!

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Only Two Murdered In Texas Church Shooting Hailed As Second Amendment Christmas Miracle

About as much as they could hope for.

A man with a shotgun opened fire in a church in White Settlement (yes, really), Texas, yesterday, killing two parishioners before two members of the church's armed volunteer security team shot and killed the gunman. Police and state and local officials praised the quick response by the security volunteers for preventing a far worse massacre, and advocates of guns everywhere triumphantly pointed to the incident as proof guns save lives, at least after some lives are already lost.

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Right Wing Extremism

New York Times: Domestic Rightwing Terrorists Now 'Alt-Gov'

'Kill all males' could mean anything.

Last week, a report commissioned by the Washington state House of Representatives detailed the ties between Rep. Matt Shea and the armed "patriot" movement, including his participation in three armed standoffs against federal law enforcement. The report said Shea had helped plan the 2016 Bundy Dildo Militia takeover of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon, saying his participation amounted to engaging in "an act of domestic terrorism against the United States." On Monday, the New York Times published a detailed story on the report and on Shea's vision for how he and his wingnut buddies could seize power in the Pacific Northwest and establish a theocracy, once America finally gets the blessed second Civil War that Barack Obama was so intent on bringing. It's some pretty good journamalism, all in all! Bummer it was graced with one of those indelibly bland New York Times headlines that bends over backward to downplay Shea's rightwing radicalism:

Congratulations to the New York Times for the most dishonest use of "alternative" since Kellyanne Conway! Reminds us of other great headlines:

  • Titanic Takes Alternative Route
  • Jeffrey Dahmer Pursued Alternative Diet
  • Japanese Navy offers Alternative to Hawaii's Sunday Routine
  • Jack Ruby Had Visions of an Alternative Justice System
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