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Haha, CBO Says That Budget Deal Actually Increases Spending

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John Boehner's tear-soaked budget deal was said to make $38 billion in cuts and SAVED US FROM SHUTDOWN (not that anyone in America who's not paid by the federal government cared), but it turns out, according to the Congressional Budget Office, that number's far off. This year, the CBO says those budget maneuverswill only amount to a $352 million cut in non-war spending. "But wait," you say, "America is in a bunch of wars right now! That must have an impact on spending!" You're right. When you include war funding, this budget increases spending by $3.3 billion in relation to current levels. Whoops! Time for that Teabagger insurrection!


Republicans promise that when fully implemented and repeated year after year, the cuts in the measure would reduce the deficit by $315 billion over the coming decade.

Yes, "fully implemented and repeated year after year." Not like politics could ever get in the way of that. Little publicity-garnering gimmicks like these are always kept around year after year.

The House and Senate still have to pass this thing, and members of Congress from both parties are yammering about not supporting it. After all, that shutdown seemed kind of fun. It was all so anticlimactic. And if they don't have this to argue about, it becomes pretty obvious they're not passing much of any legislation these days at all.

But is Obama secretly winning? According to the CBO, is winning all over your FACE, naysayers. [AP]

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Deutsche Bank shitcanned its own internal compliance reports to disappear suspicious Trump and Kushner transactions and make sure Treasury never got wind of them? You mean the bank that continued to make loans to Trump after every other lender tapped out, that accepted his overnight doubling of his "net worth" by claiming his brand was worth $4 billion, that continued to write him checks after he defaulted and then sued them claiming the 2008 financial crisis was an "act of God?" Those prudent beancounters cut corners to benefit their wealthy clients? FAM, WE ARE SHOOK.

No, not really. It would be shocking to find out that the private wealth managers let algorithms work their magic on high net worth individuals and turned the reports over to Treasury like they would for some guy making $75,000 who got a $19,000 wire from the Isle of Man. The rules for rich people are different, and Deutsche Bank did not get to be part of the "Global Laundromat" by taking all those anti-money laundering statutes literally. (And if you think the other big banks aren't doing the exact same thing, the Easter Bunny has a bridge to sell you. This is why Elizabeth Warren freaks the finance guys out -- she knows where all the bodies are buried.)

At the same time, this story in the New York Times about Deutsche Bank compliance officer Tammy McFadden getting fired for pointing out Trump and Kush's hinky transactions in 2016 -- including some with Russians, natch -- is pretty ridiculous. With regulators on two continents breathing down their necks for laundering Russian money, DB's private wealth bankers were allowed to swoop in and save their clients from any of that icky federal snooping into their questionable transactions.

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To be honest, we're not 100 percent sure who's right in the argument over whether 2020 Democratic primary candidates should do town halls on Fox News, though we suspect it's Elizabeth Warren, because she's usually right. But if you are going to do it, then Pete Buttigieg showed us all how you should do it, which is to make sure you get all the way under the skin of Fox News's most regular viewer, the chunk of human cells and pigshit who lounges around the White House all day watching TV and apparently not (thank God) doing much work.

In fact, the president was whining hours before the town hall even started:

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