CURSE YOU, HIATT.

We had been checking for the Big Winners all day with nothing, and then word came of the rejection letters a few hours ago -- it's bloody, friends, the streets are bloody and on fire, heads rolling (sorry, locquaciousmusic!) -- and now it's secretly, finally available online. But a Saturday Halloween means nothing to us, Hiatt! Check back tomorrow afternoon for special Weekend Wonkette coverage.

All we have to say for now is that there's one fat old white male all the way to the left, so this competition is already gamesetmatch. Oh wait nevermind, he's a Nobel laureate (the egalitarianism of this tournament's already so evident!) in Science, and the Post can't have that -- would make George Will look bad. Hmm... Eh, hot chick on the right looks like a winner, then. Oops, wait, not her either, she's muslin. Muslins... Fred Hiatt... muslins... OH GOD HOT MUSLIN LADY, IT'S A TRAP, YOU'RE NOT SAFE IN THOSE OFFICES!

America's Next Great Pundit [Washington Post]