Happy Birthday To America's Greatest President!

'I've come back from the grave to reclaim my imperial presidency!' - Wonkette

Relax, everybody! That stench in the nation's air is just a natural annual response to the anniversary of Richard Milhouse Nixon's glorious birth.


RMN was unscrewed from his poor mother's womb on this day in Nineteen Hundred and Thirteen. Join us after the jump for a fascinating look at this horrible little man who would be known as America's Worst President if not for the grace of George W. Bush.

Here are some fun facts you might not know about the only man in history who was elected U.S. vice president and president twice:

* Boldly planned to have the Brookings Institute firebombed.

* Was close friends with Macaca's dad, legendary Rams/Redskins coach George Allen Sr., and actually phoned in disastrous plays to Allen in mid-game.

* But that's not actually true, Allen's daughter Jennifer writes in this ESPN column.

* Dropped the 'Skins once they tanked and went with the Dolphins and began badgering coach Don Shula to use Nixon Plays in the '72 Super Bowl.

* Played piano fairly well and liked performing gospel songs.

* Was fluent in Latin, at least in his school years.

* Could recite Shakespearean soliloquies by heart.

* The "Checkers" speech was written by California politician and publisher William F. Knowland, who was eventually suicided, possibly by the Symbionese Liberation Army.

* Pardoned mafia legend Jimmy Hoffa.

* Avid and competitive bowler.

* Reportedly told to resign by George H.W. Bush, who was RNC boss at the time!

* Firmly believed Jews were natural-born spies, while Negroes avoided espionage.

* Said this: "Reagan, on a personal basis, is terrible. He just isn't pleasant to be around."

* Faked the moon landing to "get back" at JFK.

Ed Nixon speaks today about brother's life, presidency [OC Register]

Earlier: Elvis and Nixon, America's Beloved Pill-Popping Paranoid Red Baiters

Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc