For the past few years, we've all been eagerly awaiting the most magical day of the two-year 2008 campaign cycle, when ethanol and old white people finally get the attention they truly deserve, because they are in Iowa. Today is the day when Iowa shines in all its flat, frigid glory. But when it's all over and Chris Dodd is president, you may wonder about the little stories you missed during all the excitement. Here they are, right now:

* Fred Thompson is a loser. He's going to drop out and endorse beloved old nut John McCain. Remember when the people on the Internet were all, "Draft Fred Thompson! Send Fred Thompson! He is on TV!" Well, you don't really hear much from them anymore.

* Mitt Romney isn't so good at business. He spent a whole lot of $52 million in Iowa, and he's going to be handily beaten by some dumb, poor preacher from Arkansas. Of course, the preacher believes in the real Jesus.

* Is Obama just a white Muslim version of Howard Dean? Dana Milbank ponders this question, as he sits in a hotel room, in Iowa.

* Hillary Clinton's toilet is frozen. It's true, because it's on the Des Moines Register's blog.


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