Happy Independence Day, Get the Hell Out

* Candidates hate your fucking parades and fireworks and hot dogs and babies and so-called "independence." [NYT, WP]


* Immigrants seem convinced rabid Lou Dobbs won't lynch them if they get legal. Silly, silly immigrants. [NYT]

* Hollywood hairstylist claims John Edwards' haircuts used to be free. By 2004, inflation had raised that price to $1,250. [WP]

* Bush compares Iraq to the American Revolutionary War. But in the way, obviously, that makes the exact opposite of sense. Apparently the wealthy foreign occupying power are the scrappy colonists, and the local insurgents represent Great Britain. [NYT]

* Iowans mistake Bill Clinton for Bob Barker, Bill happily indulges them with a little sexual harassment anyway. Oh, and his wife is running for something? [NYT]

* Romney has some high-tech data whiz crunching market research numbers all day, and all he's learned is that Americans 18-35 dislike creep dog-hating androids. All other Americans hate them too but we had to go for the demography joke. [WP]

* Maybe someone should do something about how the president ignores all those silly little bills he signs into law. [Roll Call]

* Apparently conventions are more than a way to lose a whole evening live-blogging. [Politico]

* Obama knows that crazy people have votes to cast, too. [Politico]

* Tom Tancredo still hates Mexicans as much as he did when he got off the Mayflower. [LAT]

* Al Gore, Jr just may have what it takes to be president of the United States one day. [The Age]

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