Hey there, Wonketariat! We've got a long day ahead of us, but here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

ILLEGAL price gouging during Hurricane Harvey in Houston has seen prices for water, fuel and hotels skyrocket, including $99 cases of water, and $4 to $10 for a gallon of gas. You/friends/family can report price gouging to the Texas A.G. here.

Republicans really don't want to talk about aid for the victims of Harvey, it's just not a good time right now what with all the super rich tax cuts they're trying to ram through.

Republicans (!) in New York and New Jersey are accusing Texas politicians and Ted Cruz of hypocrisy for asking for federal aid after they bitched and moaned when Hurricane Sandy went shithouse all over the Big Apple.

Members of the Cajun Navy have reported being shot at by desperate Texans who they're simply unable to help. Y'all, come on!

Days before Harvey hit Houston, big money real estate people successfully lobbied Trump and Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao to kill Obama-era infrastructure regulations that would make roads and bridges capable of holding up to the fallout from climate change, like rising sea levels. [Archive]

It's mean to point fingers at Congressional Republicans for flooding in Houston, but when you look back at 20 years of cuts to the National Flood Insurance Program and the encouragement to develop homes in flood prone areas, it becomes pretty hard not to.

Trump is attempting to attach himself to Harvey using his "best words" to describe the "epic" flooding that is the "biggest ever."

Florida Rep. Rob DeSantis wants a new amendment to a huge government spending bill that would kill Robert Mueller's Trump-Russia investigation after six months as it "didn't identify a crime to be investigated." Water sports are not a crime!

REXXON wants the US to have a "toe-print, not a footprint" at the UN General Assembly next month, dramatically reducing the number of personnel in attendance to about 300 from 1,000. We certainly wouldn't want the globalists at the UNITED NATIONS to upstage Trump, would we?

Talks of a "Rexit" are growing on Capitol Hill, but many see it as unlikely, no matter how much Tillerson criticizes Trump. And vice versa!

Trump was full of sadz that news crews showed just how empty his Phoenix rally was, and he "You're Fired" his longtime aide, George Gigicos. Aww, poor snowflake must've melted in the desert sun.

Trump admitted to pardoning Joe Arpaio because he felt it was "the right thing to do," but he's sad because he "assumed the ratings would be far higher than they were normally.” Stupid hurricane, stealing all his thunder!

Joe Arpaio says he "didn't do anything wrong" (except for all that racial discrimination), and his lawyers want to overturn his conviction. Arpaio blames a "biased" judge for hating his star-spangled ass.

Secret President Bannon is bending over to help Roy Moore in the Alabama special election so can really stick it to Mitch McConnell (not Donald Trump) who prefers Luther Strange.

2020 Democratic presidential hopefuls are already in New Hampshire slapping stickers on cars and kissing babies in an attempt to get ahead of the pack.  Sigh.

In the wake of multiple disasters, the Navy is taking a long hard look at itself, with one retired Navy Captain stating,“We do not put a premium on being good mariners, we put a premium on being good inspection takers and admin weenies.

The business community is sitting on pins and needles as tax reform appears to have stalled before it's even started, despite being pushed by the very bankers who've lobbied for lowering their own tax rates.

Rather than helping struggling homeowners, a federal audit has found a North Carolina housing agency blew federal aid on BBQ's and gym memberships, which sounds awesome!

This South Carolina county needs surplus heavy weapons and artillery, like tanks, night vision goggles, and military aircraft, to give kids and adults something to dick around with during fairs.

A new law in Indiana allows secret purges of voter rolls; you can thank Mike Pence for getting the ball rolling on that one.

The Baltimore Klansman who was caught on camera firing a gun at Charlottesville protesters has a long rap sheet that includes multiple assaults and rape charges. How charming!

Let's all point and laugh at this dingus who accidentally stabbed himself then lied to police about being attacked by neo-Nazis antifa. Ha, idiot! Ha!

NAFTA has made Mexico more like middle 'Murica as products become adopted by regular blue-collar Josés.

North Korea launched a missile OVER Japan; now Japan is livid, South Korea is freaking out, and stocks have tanked overnight. Don't worry though, Trump thinks Kim Jung Un is a "smart cookie."

The nerd who made Minecraft has been dumping tons of Ameros into Pizzagate bullshit, and he's full of butthurt because "People focus on actually proven conspiracy theories like the russia [sic] nonsense."

Bomb shelters are all the rage now that Trump has triggered North Korea into shooting off more loads than a horny teenager on prom night.

And here's your morning Nice Time! Pygmy marmosets!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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