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If you're having a party to advocate keeping the gays second-class citizens as long as possible and holding it in the very best swampy heat that Washington, DC has to offer, there are many things you need to ask yourself. In addition to questioning any number of your life choices, you must decide what to wear! And so Wonkette proudly presents the Sweaty Fundamentalist Summer Collection.

National Organization for Marriage President and Hate-Marcher in Chief Brian Brown, shown here sassing it up in the VIP corral, chose a navy suit, which is the traditional garb of his tribe (self-satisfied, irrationally homophobic twatfaces).

Mike Huckabee accessorized with an iPhone, preloaded with quotes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. for egregious misuse in support of discrimination.

 

Among the depressingly numerous clergymen in attendance, basic black was, unfortunately, the color of the day...

...though these guys seemed to have thought ahead. Crisp and cool!

A faux-Colonial look is always in style, and in weather like this, you can fix a tasty brew just by letting your teabags dangle inside your breeches.

Of course, if you really want to make a statement without saying a word...

...you should dress as a sad parody of Captain America and bring a dangerously long pole with a flag that smacks small children in the face if they stand anywhere near you.

Also, the heat doesn't seem so bad if you're doing all your sweating inside a grotesquely distorted mask that vaguely resembles the President!

And if you're New York State Senator Ruben Diaz, the wretched heat actually succeeded in making your ridiculous, ubiquitous hat socially acceptable.

Defenders of straight marriage, you are inspirational fashion icons for us all.

That better not be a cotton-poly blend, mister, or you're going to hell.

 

You can follow Beth on Twitter if you're into that.

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.

[Sun-Times]

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That's right, Wonkers, while we're all up here in America dealing with the terribleness, your Editrix and her fambly are in MEXICO AT THE BEACH, where they will probably stay for a little while longer or maybe they're never coming back SHRUGGIE EMOTICON. But that's OK, they deserve some time to be AT THE BEACH in MEXICO, oh no, don't get NATIONAL EMERGY CARAVANNED!

Yeah, so it's time to count down your top ten stories of the week, like we do on Saturday mornings. Shall we? WE SHALL.

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