Hayden Hearings: Free T-Shirt to the First Senator to Ask About Hookers

Happy Hayden Confirmation Day! We, the unwashed masses, shall get the sanitized, boring hearing, and we'll like it, dammit, while the cool kids on the intelligence committee will hold the real one in a locked room with no lights on, whispering all their super top secret questions. Yeah, the guy's a lock. Go democracy! It's an inspiring tale, really, that a guy who can't remember the entirety of the fourth amendment and who's personally responsible for an illegal domestic spying program that sidesteps congressional oversight completely can win the support of said congress with a few well-timed secret briefings. You exercise those powers, Senate!

The fun starts at 9:30. The guy who looks like either George Costanza's boss or the liquid metal android from T2 will be playing the part of the nominee, a bunch of neutered idiots will be playing the part of your greater legislative body. Look for Ron Wyden to be the cranky, contankerous one, if his bitchy quotes in today's Times and Post are any indication:

"What do I know, I'm just on the intelligence committee," Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) is fond of saying, ruefully noting that most of what he knows about the surveillance program has come from newspapers.

Cheer up, Ron! You may not know shit about the massive NSA surveillance project, but we're sure you're well-acquainted with some of Washington's best and brightest defense contractors.

Lawmakers Reexamine Hayden [WP]


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