He Moved On China Like A B*tch, But He Just Couldn't Get There

Bad Santa strikes again! After sending global stock markets reeling with his August 1 Twitter declaration that the remaining $300 billion of un-tariffed Chinese imports would face a 10 percent levy starting in September, our demented leader has just announced that some of those tariffs will be delayed. So don't say he never gave you anything!

The US Trade Representative's website explains, "Certain products are being removed from the tariff list based on health, safety, national security and other factors and will not face additional tariffs of 10 percent." Which of these public welfare exceptions cover the "cell phones, laptop computers, video game consoles, certain toys, computer monitors, and certain items of footwear and clothing" that will escape tariffs until December 15? Not clear! Perhaps it dawned on the Stable Genius that adding 10 percent to the cost of every gift under the tree might not endear him to the Real Murikans in the White Jesus Heartland.

Aw, we're just funnin' ya! Everyone knows it's the Chinese who pay those tariffs, while Americans get richer and richer.

First of all, the Treasury just labeled China a currency manipulator because it devalued the yuan, and they didn't mean it in a good way. And simple math will tell you that a "cheaper" yuan means that Chinese consumers can afford fewer "expensive" dollar-denominated American imports. Which is ... not a gift.

Second, the fact that soybean prices are down an estimated 9% since Trump blustered us into this stupid trade war is nothing to brag about. The Federal Reserve finally cut interest rates, partly out of fear that the trade war is damaging the economy, and partly because inflation rates are too low.

Third of all, while some mostly large farmers are getting a windfall, most are just breaking even, or worse. North Dakota soybean farmer Mark Watne told CNBC that he lost $3 per bushel of soybeans this year, and that was before China announced it was cutting all American agricultural imports to zero.

Fourth, the news is absolutely reporting on Trump's efforts to buy off farmers using the American taxpayers' checkbook. Take it away, CNBC:

More than 2,300 counties that voted for Trump in 2016 have received money from the bailout program, and counties that flipped from voting for Barack Obama in 2012 to Trump in 2016 were more likely to get money than counties that were red during both elections, according to Environmental Working Group data obtained by the Washington Post.


What this needs is some finessing by Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue.

Agriculture Secretary gets earful on China tradeyoutu.be

"What do you call two farmers in a basement?"

Dunno, Sunny. How 'bout you tell us!

"A whine cellar."


Go on, Tariff Man, make this even worse.

Is "this" a real event? Something he saw on Fox? The mating call of the syphilitic squirrels that cavort in his brain hole?

We are so fucked.

[CNBC / WSJ / HuffPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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