Meanwhile, In Ohio, It's Mandatory Jazz Funerals For Your Abortion

Everything's great, why you asking?

Meanwhile, in Ohio, funerals will now be required for abortions.

Our entire country is on fire. We are in the midst of an attempted coup (albeit a really fucking stupid one). Four thousand Americans died yesterday from COVID-19. The president is a raving lunatic who is trying to stage a coup from Twitter. Our country is in chaos. And the absolute geniuses in the Ohio statehouse decided their time would be best spent legally mandating funerals for abortions.

Last week, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine signed Senate Bill 27, to "impose requirements on the final disposition of fetal remains from surgical abortions." Those requirements? Byproducts from surgical abortions have to be buried or cremated and then disposed of in one of the manners set forth in the bill.

At least they limited the abortion funerals to surgical abortions, I guess? Though I'm just waiting for women to have to try to catch their menstrual blood when having a medical abortion. Or miscarriage. Or period. (Nothing like that for men and sperm, of course. That would be ridiculous.)

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Nebraska Gov: Undocumented Meat Packers Won't Get Vaccine, Because Reasons

Luckily, he says there aren't any such workers.

Nebraska Gov. Pete Ricketts said at a press conference this week that undocumented immigrants working at the state's meatpacking plants will probably not be able to get vaccinated against the coronavirus, because it's not legal for them to be working anyway. Meat processing plants have been among the hardest-hit workplaces during the pandemic, so Nebraska has put meatpacking workers near the top of its priority list for getting the vaccine, after emergency responders, healthcare workers, teachers, and such. Nonetheless, Ricketts explained in response to a reporter's question that the vaccine will definitely ask "Papers, please," even though the virus itself does not:

You're supposed to be a legal resident of the country to be able to be working in those plants. So I do not expect that illegal immigrants will be part of that vaccine program.

Ricketts did not explain how refusing to vaccinate a portion of the workforce would help control the spread of the virus, because clearly that's a far less important matter than making sure he seems tough on immigration, don't be silly.

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The Vaccine Rollout Is Going Just Great!

Or another word.

The rollout of the coronavirus vaccines continues to be infuriatingly slow, as the Trump administration pisses away its final two weeks (and a day) on a seditious fantasy of reversing the election results, instead of doing everything it possibly can to get vaccines into arms. The administration's goal was to have 20 million Americans vaccinated by the end of 2020. Instead, 4.33 million Americans have been given at least the first dose of the vaccine, as of Sunday. But the problem isn't the supply of available vaccine. Instead, manufacturers have been delivering plenty of doses to the federal government, and the feds are delivering vaccines to the states, fitfully. But for all the administration's insistence that there was a plan to get vaccines to Americans, the national planning doesn't seem to have gone any farther than "Announce vaccine, tell the military to ship it, and then everyone's all better!"

As David Dayen points out at The American Prospect, this is insane, and we should all be very pissed off about it:

We knew this vaccine effort was coming really since the first declaration of a pandemic. We've had months to strategize and plan and work out the logistics. We deliver hundreds of millions of flu shots every year; while this was a heavier lift, it's not that much heavier. In that context, the lack of preparedness is unbelievable and yet also perfectly predictable and a fitting coda to a year of deep exposure to the realities of our frayed social structure.

But as we knew from the get-go, this is not an administration that "plans" things, which we saw when it rushed into taking migrant kids away from their parents with no plan at all to ever reunite them. We shouldn't be especially surprised that the vaccine rollout is bogging down, or that the administration is insisting that's all the states' fault, because what is a federal government anyway?

Meanwhile, as CNN notes, the US keeps setting new records for the number of hospitalizations almost daily (Monday, we were at 128,210 nationwide), and COVID-19 deaths have averaged 2,637 a day for the last week, or one death every 33 seconds.

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Whole Foods CEO Being A Dick Again

John Mackey says the best health care plan is for people to not need health care in the first place.

Whole Foods is like the Republican jam band aficionado of grocery stores. They are an absurdly expensive, union-busting, sexual-harassment-complaint-ignoring company hiding underneath a mountain of granola, tie dye and Tofuti cuties. They are gross and people only shop there in order to say that they shop there, because they are so incredibly boring that they think it's some kind of mark in their "hip and with it" column.

Therefore, it should come as no surprise that Whole Foods CEO John Mackey is an absolute piece of shit. Actually, you should already know that, because he has been an absolute piece of shit for quite some time now, including when he recently actually emailed all Whole Foods employees to recommend that they, out of the kindness of their hearts, donate their paid time off to staffers who are sick with COVID-19, instead of just giving the staffers who were sick with COVID-19 paid time off. And he's been terrible for a really, really long time now.

In a recent interview on the Freakonomics podcast, Mackey, a noted fan of Ayn Rand, shared his view that the best solution to America's healthcare problem — in this, the middle of a freaking pandemic — was for people to simply not "need" health care in the first place.

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