Healthiest President Ever Puts Lady Justices On Death Watch
Listen up, Wonkers! President Frontbutt has opinions on other people's health!
Yes, Donnie Two Scoops.
The guy who thinks that the human body is like a battery that shouldn't be depleted with physical exercise.
The guy who claimed to have grown an inch in his 60s so he wouldn't be classified as clinically obese under the BMI height-weight ratio.
THIS FUCKING GUY is going around saying that he'll get to appoint four Supreme Court Justices because all the liberals are going to die and Kennedy will retire. Via Axios,
"Ok," one source told Trump, "so that's two. Who are the others?"
"Ginsburg," Trump replied. "What does she weigh? 60 pounds?"
"Who's the fourth?" the source asked.
"Sotomayor," Trump said, referring to the relatively recently-appointed Obama justice, whose name is rarely, if ever, mentioned in speculation about the next justice to be replaced. "Her health," Trump explained. "No good. Diabetes."
Leaving aside that it is really bad form to go all Cialis in your Down Theres at the prospect of someone dying, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT FATASS TALKING ABOUT? Ruth Bader Ginsburg works out every day, and Sonya Sotomayor appears to be in excellent health. Meanwhile President Steak'n'Cake gets pushed around in an electric stroller everywhere he goes.
Hey, remember that time when all the other G7 leaders demonstrated their machismo by walking through the streets of Sicily, while sad loser Donald Trump rolled behind them on an overgrown Rascal Scooter because dragging his orange carcass half a mile was JUST TOO MUCH?
He couldn't even risk a real medical exam before the election, so he dummied this bullshit up and had his gastroenterologist sign it.
And not for nothing, but the old man seems to be in an accelerating state of cognitive decline at the moment.
Trump forgot why he was even there speaking. pic.twitter.com/x2r1Hsjtlc— Zack Ford (@ZackFord) October 12, 2017
Look, Poppy, we get that your only accomplishment as president has been to fill Dead Scalia's Supreme Court seat. We know that during the seven hours a day you spend parked on your giant haunches in front of the teevee, you think about how nice it would be if one of those Supreme Court judges would rescue you from another year of abject failure. But don't count your chicken nuggets before they're hatched.
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.