Here Are Scott Brown's Nipples (Again)
Former CosmoSenator Scott Brownshowed up on the front page of the New Hampshire Union-Leader Monday in a story about the annual Penguin Plunge, a charity fundraiser for the Special Olympics. Brown, of course, is exploring a run against Senator Jeanne Shaheen, despite the possibility of an armed revolt against his perceived hatred of the Holy Second Amendment, or perhaps the more serious threat of widespread apathy.
We aren't 100% certain whether the former senator actually jumped into the Atlantic Ocean, or just ran alongside the other participants from the we-are-definitely-not-making-this-up team of participants from "Buckley's Frozen Seamen." Brown did tweet a photo of himself desecrating the American flag by wearing it as a shirt and hugging a zombie, as "zombies" was the hilariously creative them of the Plunge this year.
While Brown was pictured and named in the photo caption, he was not actually mentioned in the Union-Leader's article about the event, so it is unknown whether Brown literally immersed himself in the icy sea, or just showed up to "test the electoral waters" (yes, we are already feeling bad about that).
But the question remains -- will Brown get a frigid reception from New Hampshire Republicans, leading his campaign to contract and shrivel to almost nothing, or will he be grasped by eager warm hands that will pump him up and help shake off his 2012 loss, allowing him to expand his mandate, and eventually thrust himself firmly into a warm, receptive public? Only time will tell whether the former nude model can sustain an election.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He'll be back with another post soon, but needs to rest a bit first.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.