Here Is Adam Rippon SING-SKATING To Rihanna, Because Of Course He Is

HEY-O! MUELLER DAY! What fun that is!

In other good news, hey Spokane! If you are a Spokan-ian (don't care what you really call yourselves TBH), Wonkette is coming to visit you TONIGHT! Details here!

In other OTHER good news, tonight is the finals in men's skating at the Winter Olympics! Last night, NBC aired the men's short program, and Adam Rippon, who is our collective boyfriend, kicked VERY MANY ASSES. Indeed, he placed 7th out of 30 in the short program, which is pretty impressive considering that while he's a beautiful skater, he doesn't do the great big quads like some of the others. This is why some skaters who FALL DOWN GO BOOM or are boring to watch end up scoring higher -- they TRY the quads, so even if they look like some nincompoop with two left skates, they are scored higher BLAH BLAH BLAH figure skating scoring is stupid.

Rippon is probably out of reach of a medal, unless the Japanese guys and the hot Spaniard at the top suddenly start playing with their poo on the ice rink, which would be an Olympic first. But that doesn't mean we can't cheer him on, especially since he's the only American that high up. (Yes, Nathan Chen, who was a gold medal favorite for America going in, had a really, really bad skate. He is in 17th place out of 24 who advance to the free skate, waaaaaay behind Rippon.)

For the record, Rippon doesn't seem to care that he's not the Ice King Of Quad Jumps or that he's not a so-called "medal favorite":

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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