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Here's Your 'Conservative Comedian' Interlude

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Here's the beloved Conservative Comedian, Brad Stine, giving his lighthearted send-off to CPAC 2012 DAY 1 yesterday. Your Wonkette would've gone to watch him personally but was busy doing anything else. What's his joke? Americans are such wusses now with their basic car safety measures. Ha! Ehh. If you listen really closely you can hear him say "METH METH COCAINE METH COCAINE METH," too.

Your Wonkette will be returning to CPAC today, for some reason. Probably because Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney will all be there and pandering in true patriotic spirit. What reason is there not to attend? And did you hear that Barack Obama is forcing the Catholic Church to give each of its followers one abortion per day, at the Abortionplex? We'll hear much more about that today. Much, much more... Oh now there is some billionaire introducing Rick Santorum onstage! Pitchforks out, folks.

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