Herman Cain is a world class fool who routinely drowns in his own sentences when asked about foreign policy or health care or abortion, but hoo-boy just ask the old lout about the ladies and the illicit sexytimes and he kind of starts to sound like he knows what he's talking about or something! Here is Cain on Jimmy Kimmel's late-night teevee variety hour expertly explaining how he thinks famewhore lawyer Gloria Allred, who is representing Sharon Bialek, would also make a terrible actual whore. Kimmel jokingly asked Cain if he would ever hire Allred, to which Cain responded with a creepy grin, "You almost made me say something that my handlers say you should not say. Let me put it to you this way, I can't think of anything that I would hire her to do, okay." Classy.

And lest anyone fear the day might go by without some gross new tale of Old Lout's failed attempts at wooing, a former USAID employee came forward to recount a business meeting in Egypt where Cain was paid to give a speech and then tried to get the organizers to hook him up with one of the attendees.

From the Washington Examiner:

"And after the seminar was over," Donella told The Washington Examiner, "Cain came over to me and a colleague and said, 'Could you put me in touch with that lovely young lady who asked the question, so I can give her a more thorough answer over dinner?'"

Donella, who no longer works for USAID, said they were suspicious of Cain's motives and declined to set up the date. Cain responded, "Then you and I can have dinner." That's when two female colleagues intervened and suggested they all go to dinner together, Donella said.

Cain exhibited no inappropriate sexual behavior during the dinner, though he did order two $400 bottles of wine and stuck the women with the bill, she said.

Ah, sweet revenge. [YouTube/Washington Examiner]

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