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Hero Columnist Offers To Pay To Drug Test Florida Lawmakers

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Florida governor Rick Scott is one of those charming sociopath fundamentalist teabagger fiscal responsibility screamers who will nonetheless spend millions of taxpayer dollars to make absolutely sure that the government isn't giving a single $104 check to a poor drug user even as the state cuts school funding, just to prove he is an annoying hardass. So far, only 2.5% of welfare recipients have tested positive, making this a very expensive joke Rick Scott is playing on poors and taxpayers. But since "government savings" is nominally the reason behind drug testing state check recipients, Miami Herald columnist and novelist Carl Hiaasen, god bless him,proposes lawmakers show a little fairness and participate in a "patriotic whiz-fest" (Maureen Dowd is jealous of this line) where they, too, must all pee in a cup to prove as a group they are as crack-free as 97.5% of welfare recipients. 


From Hiaasen's column in the Miami Herald:

Here in Florida, Rick Scott’s campaign promise of mass job creation is at least coming true for professional urine samplers. However, in addition to being sued over drug-testing welfare parents, Scott also faces a court fight for ordering random substance screening on thousands of state workers.

Interestingly, the governor’s pee-in-the-cup mandate doesn’t apply to the one bunch that whizzes away more tax dollars than anyone else – the legislators who pass such useless laws.

I say line up all 160 of ‘em for a patriotic whiz-fest at the Capitol clinic. You think more than 2.5 percent might test positive? Let’s find out.

And I’ll pay for it out of my own pocket. Seriously.

Any lawmaker who says "no" to this is automatically a crackhead. [Miami Herald via RawStory]

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Today we are having a Very Serious Conversation about how liberals are very uncivil and mean and terrible and vulgar, because a restaurant in Virginia very nicely asked Sarah Huckabee Sanders to GTFO, due to how she is an atrocious liar who works for a fascist. (The restaurant comped the cheese plates that had already been served.) Meanwhile the president is threatening 79-year-old black congresswomen on Twitter and ripping babies away from their parents and just generally being a fascist. BOTH SIDES DO IT, ISN'T THAT RIGHT, VERY SERIOUS PUNDITS?

Point is, Sarah Huckabee Sanders is doing her first White House press briefing in a week, assuming she doesn't wuss out like she always does. Will she lie? Will she cry? Will she be a sack of shit like she always is? Most importantly, has she managed to find a meal since she was kicked out of the Red Hen? We certainly hope she's managed to find a Chick-fil-A or something, as we wouldn't want Our Sarah to be forced to give a press briefing while hangry.

Let's liveblog and see what a foul asshole SHS feels like being today:

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Last week, Nicole Arteaga of Peoria, Arizona received the devastating news from her doctor that her baby's development had stopped and that pregnancy would end in a miscarriage. Given the option of either a D&C or prescription medication, she chose to go with the prescription. Then, like all normal people do when they get a prescription, she went to a pharmacy to have it filled.

Unfortunately for her, Brian Hrenuic -- the pharmacist at the Walgreens she went to -- refused to give her that prescription, because he opposed it on "moral grounds."

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