Hero Dads Who Are Heroes Cook Dinner Sometimes Like Total F*cking Heroes
Sure, in old-timey days the women did all the housework and the childcare and the cooking and the shopping and the every other damned thing including the wiping of their husbands' precious bottoms, but ever since the feminists killed patriarchy -- well, it's stayed pretty much the same. Except for a handful of Hero Dads Who Are Heroes. Get your hankies, folks, because you are going to be soooo moved by this touching tale of dads lifting a finger. Sometimes two!
Mr. Kreisberg is a freelance copy writer, a husband and a father. He is also a member of what he and other men describe as an often overlooked portion of the population: the growing number of working dads who cook.
“We do a lot more than barbecue,” Mr. Kreisberg said wryly.
Working dads who cook! It's a growing trend -- because there are a least three of them -- and they're a little tired of being taken for granted, what with the New York Times failing to write about their heroic measures every single day. You really can't imagine what this selfless man goes through to serve God and country -- and dinner.
Sometimes, Joe Kreisberg ponders the question during his morning commute. Sometimes, he considers it at his desk at an advertising agency in Manhattan or on his afternoon stroll for a caffeinated pick-me-up.
“It’s kind of in the back of my mind all day,” said Mr. Kreisberg, 35, describing that perennial working parents’ quandary: What will I cook for the family tonight? “I’m thinking about the ingredients. I’m thinking about what I have in the fridge.”
We are definitely living in a post-patriarchal society when a man strolls around Manhattan to pick up his caramel spiced gagguccino while at the same time thinking about what's in his fridge. How does he do it all -- and find the time to contact a Times columnist to point out her failure to point out his great accomplishments in a column about working parents in which she did not bother to quote any men who also work and also parent?
Kreisberg isn't the only hero who has selflessly accepted the responsibility of feeding himself and his family. Derek Hartwick has a job and cooks five whole meals for his family every week. EVERY WEEK!!!
He and his wife both work full time, but Mr. Hartwick gets home earlier, so he handles dinner, serving up dishes like pasta with shrimp scampi, breaded chicken and homemade pizzas where everyone picks their own toppings.
It can be a struggle, he said, working full time and preparing home-cooked meals while also offering homework help and volunteering as a soccer coach.
Amazing, isn't it, that even though he works less than his wife and gets home earlier, he's still willing to handle dinner for his family, including his own children, even though it can be hard sometimes to do so many things at once! Really, ladies, you have no idea the struggles he's seen. Have you ever tried to juggle volunteering and taking care of the kids AT THE SAME TIME?
Then there's this hero -- see, we told you it was a trend -- who is basically Phyllis Schlafly's worst nightmare:
“I believe in an equal share of housework,” said Mr. [Lorin] Wertheimer, who lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn. “It’s a way in which I can pull my weight.”
And how does he perform his equal share of the housework? He cooks on the weekends. Oh, and he also "juggles family outings" even though he also has a job! Too bad he's already taken, right?
It's time -- in fact, it's long past time -- we stopped ignoring these unsung hero dads who have embraced the idea that their wives are not their mommies and maybe they could contribute to the care and feeding of their own children too, when they're not too busy patting themselves on their backs for all their hard work. Sure, women have been doing it forever, but there's something really special about a man who's so graciously willing to buck societal norms and whip up a stew on a Sunday afternoon. Especially since selfish women who've been trying to have it all by stealing all the good jobs from the men have abandoned their primary duties to fry up that bacon hubby brings home, even when hubby isn't the primary bacon-bringer.
The Times cites a study showing that between 1965 and 2008, the percentage of women who understood their proper role in the home dropped from 92 to 68 percent, probably because all those stupid women's libbers told them to go out and get jobs to help support their families since wage stagnation has made it impossible to support an average family of four on a single income -- oops, we mean because feminism.
And because women have gotten so uppity and so "cook your own damn dinner" over the decades, the responsibility for taking care of the kids and putting food in their mouths has fallen to the menfolk, who, thankfully, have stepped up to do the job women won't. Oh, except for this little nugget, kind of buried in the column and so insignificant, it's almost not worth mentioning:
Women still spend more than twice as much time preparing meals than men on an average day, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics.
But meh. Those women don't deserve medals and parades and slobbering columns about how heroic they are, because duh. That's just what women have always done. And besides, some of their husbands are really stepping up and lending a hand and doing their "fair share" of the housework. You can see it from this handy dandy chart that, again, is hardly worth even mentioning, because it fails to reflect the efforts of Messrs. Kreisberg et al.:
Oh, there are more charts and facts and figures showing just how much more time women are still spending on all the goddamned work, if you're interested in that kind of super boring data. But really, isn't it so much more important to celebrate the symbolism of Dads Who Make Dinner and believe in "equal" housework, and somehow manage to juggle stuff?
Yes, it's true that men do more now than they did 50 years ago, when they did nothing at all. But they're still doing so much less than women who have always done it and still do it and still don't get any awards for it. So if we're going to start throwing parades in honor of parents who multitask, maybe men should get in the back of the line and wait their turn. And pick up those dirty socks while they're at it.