Hero Judge Throws Attorney In Jail For Not Reciting Pledge of Allegiance
Apparently SOME lawyers would rather recite pledges of allegiance to MUSLIM NOODLE SOUP than THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a fact that does not sit well with patriot Mississippi Chancery Court Judge Talmadge Littlejohn,who threw attorney Danny Lampley in jail yesterday for failing to recite the Pledge in court. This is rather illegal for the judge to do, of course. But sometimes judges have to be activist (AHHHH! SCARY!) to enforce the more important parts of the Constitution (about how everyone has to talk about how much they love their country all the time and being gay is illegal, for example) against the less important parts (First Amendment). And thus Talmadge Littlejohn, who even sounds like a grand Confederate general, has saved our great country (the Confederate / United States of America) from those who wish to destroy it.
And he even did it with realistic judge-speak!
BE IT REMEMBERED, this date, the Court having ordered all present in the courtroom to stand and recite the Pledge of Allegience, and having found that Danny Lampley, Attorney at Law, failed and refused to do so, finds said Danny Lampley to be in criminal contempt of court. [...]
IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, ADJUDGED, AND DECREED, that Danny Lampley shall purge himself of said criminal contempt by complying with the order of this Court by standing and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in open court.
Lampley has decided not to "purge himself of said criminal contempt," because that would make him like a teenage bulimic who vomits liberty instead of food. Or something, who knows, he's in jail or whatever, so he can't speak to the press.