Hero Republican Legislator Will Protect Son From California's Transgender Restroom Tyranny
California Assemblyman Tim Donnelly is taking a brave stand for cisgender heteronormativity (trigger warning!), and he doesn't care who knows it. To protest the state's new law that allows trans students to use the restroom or locker room that they choose, the Republican legislator will be pulling his 13-year-old son out of public school. And in a guest column for WND (where else?), Donnelly raises the specter of "Allowing teenage boys and girls in the same locker room, showering side by side," apparently unaware that schools don't allow time for kids to shower during P.E. anymore. Disaster averted!
In the WND piece, Donnelly says his sons were
horrified at the idea of sharing a bathroom and locker room with a member of the opposite sex, after having discussed AB 1266 with them.
We would love to have heard that "discussion." We imagine it may have involved a lot of lisping and limp-wristed gesticulating in the best tradition of wingnut theatrics.
And of course, there's NO WAY that mere innocent teenagers can possibly handle being in the same clothes-changing or defecation spaces as someone who's different:
This will take the normal hormonal battles raging inside every teenager and pour gasoline onto those simmering coals. The right to privacy enjoyed by every student will be replaced by the right to be ogled.
As anyone knows, the right to be ogled in high school is strictly limited to the sacred tradition of fantasizing about drilling a hole in the girls' locker room wall.
But Donnelly has Serious Questions!
Will some kids be too embarrassed to use the bathroom or locker rooms, knowing that a member of the opposite sex could enter any time? Could this create unneeded anxiety with students, creating a massive learning distraction?
Mr. Donnelly is apparently completely unaware of the rich comedic tradition involving people who are already too shy to pee in public restrooms. And what about the never-nudes? Why will no one speak for them?
And of course, Donnelley also worries that allowing trans students to use the facilities they prefer might "increase the likelihood of a sexual assault on campus" -- as usual, the only time wingnuts worry about rape is when they can use it to gin up fear.
For all the noise (including the WND column's hilarious sub-hed saying he'll "yank his kids from government schools") about Donnelly's decision, it turns out that he has already backed off his vow that neither of his sons would return to public school. In an interview with the Associated Press, Donnelly acknowledged that only his 13-year-old will be leaving the public school system; his 16-year-old son will continue to attend his high school, despite being "horrified." Donnelly said that "If it doesn't change his school experience, he may still stay," which suggests that certain California 13-year-olds are easier to boss around than certain 16-year-olds. (The AP article also notes that the family "already had been discussing" leaving the public schools before the bill was passed, so, hey, that's some dramatic gesture.)
And if the older son comes home and announces that it's really no big deal, we're certain Donnelly will write about that in WND, too.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.