Heroic Republicans Will Murder Zombie ACORN Again And Again For Freedumb
Remember back in 2009 whenselectively edited pimp videos became all the rage? No of course you do not because 2009 was like one million years ago in internet time. Take a trip back to the Mesozoic Era with yr Wonkette, won't you? In 2009 we had to endure the smug face of James O'Keefe everyfuckingwhere as he managed to completely obliterate ACORN, an organization that actually did good things for the poors and such. ACORN got murdered (defunded. same thing) by Congress back in 2009 and has not menaced the population again. Does that matter to your modern GOP? Nope:
A new short-term budget bill introduced on Monday by House Republicans includes a bizarre provision banning federal funding to anti-poverty group ACORN, despite the fact that the group has already been stripped of federal funding -- and has been defunct for nearly three years.
ACORN leaders announced that the group was disbanding in March 2010, after Congress cut off all federal funding to the organization. The provision in the current GOP budget bill [PDF], buried on page 221 of 269, would duplicate legislation that has already passed, to target an organization that does not exist.
The GOP is ON IT you guys. The real job of gubmint isn't to actually come up with a goddamn budget or anything with national importance like that. No, the real job of gubmint is to propose completely unrelated fuckwit provisions to ban already nonexistent things:
Nevertheless, Section 510 of the latest legislation, introduced by House Appropriations Chair Hal Rogers (R-Ky.), reads: "None of the funds made available in this Act may be distributed to the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) or its subsidiaries or successors."
Jennifer Hing, a spokeswoman for the committee, said the line was "a typical provision that is included in most appropriations bills."
The bill is known as a "continuing resolution" rather than an official, formal budget, because it does not update federal spending plans for all departments. Instead, the bill simply maintains spending levels from the prior year for nearly all federal agencies.
Yep. Stuffed in a bill that these assholes have to pass to keep government running is some crucial language protecting you from the greatest threat of all: zombie ACORN.
What will you do, exactly, when the zombie public interest group apocalypse comes? Do you have your prepper bag ready? How about your go bag? Do you have one of those handy keychain tool dealios that fold out into a knife and fork? You're gonna need them all, motherfuckers, to stay safe from ACORN 2: The ACORNing.
Stay safe out there, Wonkonians.