Hey Democrats...You Got Served!
Good morning Senators Clinton, Schumer. What's up Mr. Biden? How're my dawgs at the DLC holdin' it down this morning? Say, guys, if you are wondering where those dark stains you found in your britches this morning came from, we're here to help. At about five past eleven last night, The Daily Show's Ed Helms tore out a new hole in your asses.
Joined by would-be Senatorial candidate Paul Hackett, Helms and The Daily Show team perpetrated one of the most priceless takedowns of Democratic Party strategery we've ever seen. It's all there: "the Matrix", the fatal nibbling of idiot consultants, the standard false equation of Republican mistakes with Democratic victories, and most of all, the unbelievable and stupefying insistence that everything is fine.
HANK SHEINKOPF: It doesn't hurt that the Republicans keep screwing up. It only helps you. It's good to have an opponent that keeps making errors.
HELMS: I am right there with you. I got mugged the other day. And, this bum was beating me a bottle. And I said, "You know what, I am going to sit back and wait for him to accidentally hit himself with the bottle." And sure enough, he did. I mean, I was unconscious, but I think I won that battle.
It all culminates in a reimagined Hackett-For-Senate campaign commercial:
Anyway, guys. This is why the idealistic young interns in your employ can't seem to look you in the face today.