HEY EVERYONE, GONZO FINALLY RESIGNED
In one final display of hilarious ineptitude, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned on a Friday afternoon, the traditional home of the unwelcome newsdump, and then waited until a Monday morning to announce it. Way to go, Fredo -- you will be missed!
Lord only knows who will replace Gonzo, but we're thinking probably the ghost of Al Capone or something. The confirmation hearings ought to be a zoo no matter who they pick. Harriet Miers maybe?
Even until the bitter end, Gonzo was lying about every goddamn thing he could:
Mr. Roehrkasse said Sunday afternoon that he had telephoned Mr. Gonzales about the reports circulating in Washington that a resignation was imminent, "and he said it wasn't true, so I don't know what more I can say."
That's his own spokesman he lied to. For no discernible reason at all. The man lies about what he wants for breakfast in the morning. He tells his dog she's good but doesn't mean it.
Anyway, Democrats won, hooray, and all they had to do to win the resignation of a criminal they should've impeached was agree to sign away all of our rights in a wiretapping bill that they were angry with Fredo for illegally trying to enforce in the first place. Shit, is it Labor Day yet?