George Bush, what a meanie! He failed to pardon such blameless white-collar criminals as Michael Milken and Jeffrey Skilling, he did nothing for theinnocent bear-rape scribe Scooter Libby, and most importantly, he did not issue any sort of blanket protection to the many steaming turds in his administration who cooked up elaborate torture schemes, for America. What gives?

It's possible that Bush was just being his lazy/stubborn old self, and refused to go out like that fat whore Bill Clinton did, in a flurry of controversial pardons. Or maybe he didn't want to confirm that war-crimes prosecutions are likely, or even possible, for all of the little toad-humpers who sat in boiler rooms coming up with elaborate legal explanations for why nutsack frying during interrogations is relatively harmless.

But, most intriguingly, it is possible that by not giving anybody in his former administration immunity, he has incented them to plead the Fifth if they ever DO get called in front of Congress. If they had immunity, they couldn't plausibly argue that they didn't want to incriminate themselves and would instead have to spill the beans to evil Nancy Pelosi and her wicked fairy godmother, Harry Reid.

So: with Alberto Gonzales and David Addington and John Yoo still very much afraid of getting thrown in prison, forever, they will keep their mouths shut about whatever evil shit they did, thus giving George Bush indefinite cover. Everybody wins!

Bush Pardon Party Goes Out With a Whimper [WSJ Law Blog]


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