First up! We can't improve on this Buzzfeed story (!) so go get you some New Pope,bein' best!

Hey, What's Jim Newell been up to lately? Just stone cold liveblooging the Sebelius hearings is what! Let us know if anything happens, okay you guys?

Here is a song, by this weird guy Alex Cima, who teaches music in Orange County, CA! You might like it! We do!

Does yoga lead to Satan? Haw haw haw, you might think it does not, but we were at an Eagle Forum thing once and Cliff Kincaid (he's this guy, you don't know him) said yoga led to Satan, and that they had a "meditation room" RIGHT IN THE U.N., and also E.W. Jackson says it does too, so pretty much case closed.

Finally, here is how you make a pot of chicken soup, if you have caught Dok's cold and do not want to have Dok's cold anymore.

1. Get the chicken carcass out of the freezer where you always keep it after you have roasted and et a chicken, because you know the day is coming when you are going to need that chicken carcass to make soup.

2. Also the bag of vegetable tops and ends and peelings that you keep in there too.

3. Put them in a pot filled with water, an onion (peeled) and like four cloves of garlic (also peeled) and you could put in a lemon if you have it too, that's nice. Oooh, definitely some thyme.

4. Remember, you have already cooked this chicken once. You are not just putting raw chicken in a pot.

5. Cook it. Like six, seven hours.

6. Strain it. Pick all the meat off the bones and throw the meat back in the pot, but do not throw the bones back in the pot. Do you have potatoes in your house? Maybe some bell peppers? Kale and whatnot? Rice? Sure, throw them all in there. (We like to put in potatoes AND rice, for that special double-starch-fuck-yeah.) Let them have a real party. Salt and pepper too, why not!

7. It's been like an hour since you put in your vegetables, it is time to eat your soup, and you are not sick any more, praise be, the end.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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