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Hey Ladies! This Weird Pastor Dude Wants To Arm Wrestle You To Prove His Inherent Superiority

Sportsball

In what we can only assume is a pitch for a bizarre remake of "Over The Top" starring himself, Pastor Stephen L. Anderson is putting a call out for women to come arm wrestle him. Why? Because he is pretty sure he can beat them, and that this beating of them in arm wrestling will totally prove that men are superior to women, once and for all.


In a recent sermon at his Faithful Word Baptist Church, located in a Tempe, Arizona, strip mall, Pastor Anderson complained that he keeps getting all these emails and phone calls like, every day, about how he is a misogynist just for believing that men are superior to women and should be in control of all the things. Weird!

Pastor Anderson suggests that this word, misogynist -- which dates back to Ancient Greece, though often to refer to gay men to suggest that they wanted to bang dudes because they hated women -- is a very recent invention. So recent, that he, a 34-year-old man, never even heard this newfangled trendy word as a child! Which is weird because we are about the same age and that word is not new to me at all, as my absurdly sexist elementary school music teacher could attest.

He then blathered on about how God wants men to be in charge, and that's the way of the world, and women actually want men to be in charge of stuff because they are "not wired to want to be in charge and rule over a man" and WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH a bunch of other stuff about how he wants to be in charge of stuff cause he has a penis.

He then dug deep into the etymology of the word, suggesting that "miso" is a prefix meaning "bad." Which it isn't! It is a prefix meaning "hatred of" -- like misanthropy or even misosophist, a person who hates knowledge and wisdom, or misogrammatist, a person who hates having to learn words.

Finally, after all of that, he revealed the real reason why he knew for sure that men were better than women! And it is because, as we mentioned earlier, he can beat them in arm wrestling! And lots of women have challenged him at arm wrestling, and he has beat them all. Including his wife, whom he says he made arm wrestle him once.

This, naturally, raises the question -- why are we even bothering having a Presidential election? Why do we not just make John Brzenk, whom Google tells me is the best arm wrestler in the WORLD, dictator for life? He should obviously be in charge of all the things, because he is the best at arm wrestling. Also, another person Google says is the best arm wrestler in the world is Russia's Irina Makeeva, who is A WOMAN. So if she beat Pastor Stephen L. Anderson in arm wrestling, would she get to tell him what to do and be in charge of things?

It seems there are actually quite a lot of professional female arm wrestlers, and probably all of them can beat Pastor Anderson, so I think we all need to start hoping that one of them gets wind of this challenge and accepts it, which would probably mean he'd have to shut up about this weird thing forever (he says this is the sixth time he has challenged women to this), and probably also buy them a new semi-truck.

[Fusion]

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