Hey NSA, If You're Reading This Could You Maybe Do Something About All These Gun Horrors? (Updated)


Perhaps you're aware of the Most Depressing Thing on the Internet, Slate's running tally of every US gun death since Newtown, which at the time of this writing stood at 4,850 including the six who were killed in Santa Monica in Friday's ordinary run-of-the mill mass murder spree by a kevlar-clad neo-berserker lunatic. Eleven people were killed that day in all; another, in Arizona, was shot by his four-year old son when the kid found an unsecured handgun in a friend's home. Friday, June 7th was the worst day for American gun deaths since Wednesday, June 5th, when 17 people died after being shot, or shooting themselves, which was terrific compared to the day before, when 28 died in random and not-so-random acts of Freedom.*

So now we are just waiting for the idiot bilge of "This proves gun control doesn't work" and "It's because of that Snoopy Poop Dog and the kids with their pinball games" and "False flag tyranny!" to come pouring in, and oh here "Santa Monica College was a gun-free zone DO YOU SEE THE PATTERN?" Thanks, Free Republic, knew we could count on y'all.

How else is America blaming guns for all its problems today?

Well, the gun-grabbing fascists at ThinkProgress were nice enough at least to post some hot pixx of "The Seven Most Sexist Gun Ads" for us to fap to. Who knows, maybe there's a whole demographic out there that's kinda "meh" on all this gun shit but "OH MY GOD THAT ADVERTISEMENT BELITTLES AND STEREOTYPES MY GENDER!!!())===D" We'll take what we can get. Yr Wonkette really loved this especially:

Yes, "Rapist with AIDS," and you are not even watching an episode of Family Guy. There's also a pregnant lingerie-clad bride on an ad for a gun range, makes sense to us!

Keeping with the theme of ladies and guns, Houston group "The Armed Citizen Project" is cold giving away free shotguns to fifty lucky femme fatales so they can fight the War On Women. We would be proud of ourselves if that was a joke we came up with, but actually no, it is for serious:

The Armed Citizen Project website says this is, “Fighting the war on women, one free shotgun at a time.”

At last, someone is taking Joe Biden's advice.

Yr Wonkette's advice to fellow liberals: This time, let's skip the debates about high capacity magazines and assault weapons bans. Our opening bid should be the repeal of the Second Amendment. Note that this would not ban guns! They would still be subject to the same Constitutional protections as our cars, our hammers, our silly hats, and our hydrogen bombs. Forget shifting the Overton Window, let's start the defenestrations! With votes.

*First paragraph edited to correct the date of the Santa Monica shootings.

[Slate, ThinkProgress]


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