Hey, Remember That Time Meghan McCain Begged Donald Trump For A Job?
She could have been this election's Katrina Pierson, but she's not.
All through the never-ending primary season, and now during the general election, Meghan "Meggles McGillicuddy" McCain has been Making Sads about how UGH Donald Trump is so bad and UGH Ted Cruz is gross too, but at least Carly Fiorina makes him "warmer" and UGH Hillary Clinton is so bad too, and OMG SHE CAN'T EVEN. She has been doing this from her perch at Fox News, which inexplicably exists. She lost her shit on Fox's "The Five" a few days ago about how "When Donald Trump says things, it offends people sometimes and it can be controversial, but when Hillary makes mistakes, people die." Quite a charge coming from a national security expert like Meghan!
But that means she's made her decision, she's going to put her Make America Great Again hat on, and go all in for Trump, right? She sure was ready to do that in 2011 when Trump was using his tiny pinky fingers to test the waters of running for president. She interviewed him, for The Daily Beast!
Meghan: What’s interesting about you and your candidacy, I think that some people think it’s some sort of joke or publicity stunt. But even at dinner last night I was sitting with my friends, and it’s like the more people talk about it the more interested they are and the more convinced they are that you could be a nominee for the Republican Party. What I’m looking for is someone who’s not going to take bullshit, not going to let the media run them around, and who is going to give it back to Obama. And you seem to be the only person who’s really doing it right now.
Donald: I love your attitude. And I’ve seen your attitude, and that’s why I’m doing this interview.
Meghan: If you run for president, will you hire me for your campaign?
Donald: I like the idea! I love it! Will you do me a favor? See how I do, and you call me at the right time. I’m serious about it.
Those were the days. Trump could have had Meghan McCain, but instead now he's having to settle for meat drippings from Breitbart, because Meghan is older and wiser now. And we guess she really didn't like that shit Trump said about her dad. So no, Meghan will not vote for Trump, even if it means Hillary wins and kills everybody. AND YOU CAN'T MAKE HER. In fact, Meghan officially can't take it anymore, and she took to Twitter last week to explain, in her unique journalistic way, that she has effectively chosen not to participate in American democracy this go-round:
Oh, but that was last week, so maybe Meghan brunched with her gays on Sunday, and they all had a heart to heart talk about how American democracy works, and they were like, "Girl, we know you hate her, but really, actually, what you keep saying about Hillary is bullshit, and for real people MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE if Trump is president. Also remember that time Trump called your dear old POW dad a pussy?" And she was like "Holy shit that's right," and they had more mimosas and it was better, right?
Uh oh, somebody woke up with a case of the Mondays.
But you know what, Meghan? Make a fucking choice. When the US of America has an election, you have two choices. You have the Democrat and you have the Republican (and yes, you have Jill Stein and Gary Johnson, FINE, but we are talking about the real choices right now), and you have to make a choice. If you REALLY TRULY BELIEVE that Hillary Clinton will start killing everybody to death with her emails the second she takes the Oath Of Office, then fine, vote for Trump, because FOR SURE he won't endanger America, even if he DID call your dad a pussy that one time.
If you are a sane person -- not hurling accusations like that at ya, Meghan, don't worry -- and you are pretty sure that Hillary isn't perfect, but that it'd be pretty bad for America if we had as president a thin-skinned bully whose foreign policy experience is pretty much limited to licking Vladimir Putin's anus on Twitter and yelling at the Mexican rapists about how delicious their authentic Trump Tower taco bowls are, then be a goddamned grown-up and vote for Hillary. Remember that time Donald Trump called your dad a pussy?
But if you're not going to at least attempt to make an informed choice, then STFU.
This concludes Wonkette's PSA about how Meghan McCain needs to put a cork in it and how we are ignoring her now, until there is a slow news day and we decide to make fun of her, which will definitely happen sometime.