Hello! Come in! Come in! Sit! What can I get you? Beer? Wine? Assorted jams? NOW LOOK AT MY BABY PICTURES! Maternity leave was great, thank you for asking! In fact, I will probably take more of it once Kaili is back from her vacation doing whatever Democrats do on vacation -- probably golfing in Hawaii with the king of Spain. But how did I take maternity leave when we aren't even Swedish? Easy, I own the company hahahahaha, oh, isn't life rich.

You've seen the one above before, of course. It is our baby, Donna Rose aka Trixel (not Trillian, which is a name for roving space sluts) coming out of my body while bestowing evil curses on all humanity. This will be the picture she uses in her New York Times wedding announcement, circa 2055, when her father and I will both be dead of common oldness.

Here is Donna Rose, with Elizabeth Warren, in a space bonnet at the farmers market! As soon as her father put it on her wee little head, he immediately was overrun by dudes asking how old "he" (Donna Rose) was. Please do not do gender war crimes on our baby by assuming boys do STEM and girls play with dolls! Also, everyone knows boys don't wear bonnets, DON'T BE RIDICULOSE.

Oh, did someone say STEM?

Here is Donna Rose, archaeologist.

And here is Donna Rose, roving CHASTELY through space. Just kidding, we are sex positive, she can be a space slut if she wants, ONCE SHE IS GROWN.

And here she is teaching math at the local university! Suck on that, GENDER ASSUMERERS!

Here is Donna Rose's father, all sexied up for AMERICA!

LOL, just kidding, that is the presumed father of Bristol Palin's baby, wasn't that a funny joke? Here is OUR baby daddy, to whom we are married and everything.

He is not only sexier, but he dresses better too, as well.

Here is Donna Rose hanging out with Maya Angelou. Donna Rose would never misquote the great Angelou, mostly because she does not yet speak English!

Need someone all tarted up in gay-marriage rainbow togs? Donna Rose is your girl!

Need someone to kill J. Mascis?

Just kidding, Donna Rose does not kill J. Mascis, she kills FASCISTS! (Onesie sent by ... someone, to our PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807, where you too can send your tributes to your new overlord. Thanks, someone!)

Here is Donna looking potted up on weed.

Here she is looking unhappy after a bath.

And here she is dressed as a happy burrito.

Here is Donna with a wildflower.

And here is Donna Rose with her papa. She likes him a lot.

Okay, well, I guess that's all our pictures. Here, let me get your glass for you, it was so good to see you, MY ISN'T IT LATE! Oh, looks like someone else thinks so too!

No, really, get out.

Yours in Christ,

Rebecca Schoenkopf, Editrix

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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