Hilarious Stories About Donald Rumsfeld, From Our Norman, Oklahoma, Drinky Thing


So we missed taking pictures of SO MANY PEOPLE at our Norman, Oklahoma, Wonk Your Brains Out Drinky Thing and Orgy, because of how we left Miss Lisa Wines to die on the fields of Bleedy Kansas, and it certainly wasn't OUR job to take the fucking pictures, LISA.

Like, for instance, nowhere on our phone can we find pictures of Kathy, a retired Air Force doc who is now exec direct (we think?) of socialist communist Kenyan usurping Doctors for America, and who used to be in charge of all the armed forces medical services for all of Europe, and who told hilarious stories about how she could not get a fulltime neurosurgeon assigned to the military hospital where all the casualties from Iraq and Afghanistan were sent, because Donald Rumsfeld thought a fulltime neurosurgeon would make it look like there were casualties. Ha? Ha? So hilarious? Here is how bad a SecDef Donald Rumsfeld was, according to Kathy: She says DICK CHENEY WAS BETTER.

Also, we cannot find any pictures of Kathy's sister (Jane? Joan? We will go with "Jean") who is SO BLONDE AND PRETTY that when she ran as a Democrat for the Oklahoma lege, she got almost 40 percent of the vote!!! That is how blonde and pretty she is!!!

However! We do have pictures of these UAW organizers who were in Norman for a union orgy, and who were like, "Hey, let's go see Wonkette!" They were awesome and gorgeous. And we also have pictures of this beautiful woman who was there with her son, her husband, and her ex-husband, and her ex-husband was so handsome we went temporarily deaf, in fact he was so handsome that when HE ran for the Oklahoma lege as a Democrat, he only lost by 68 votes. THAT IS HOW HANDSOME HE WAS!!!! Also, your comrade DustBowlBlues can be seen in these pictures, as can Commie Mom and our Uncle Bob, and also some assorted cousins. Have at it!

And don't forget: Miami Drinky Nonsense TONIGHT, 6 p.m., at South Beach Tiki Bar, 1505 Washington Ave!

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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