Hillary And Bernie Have Big Fight Over Who’s Most Gayest For Obama

Bout ta 'SPLAIN each other.

[contextly_sidebar id="VWlYFWOeQkGusrsdYqZbRWOWoVHIDlRd"]Oh hey Wonkers, did you watch Thursday night's Big Exciting Democratic Debate? Well see ya wouldn't wanna be ya if you didn't! It was more of the same we've come to expect from those two crazy kids, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. But there was a twist! It seems the candidates have decided they would like to have some fights now over which one of them REALLY loves Obama, which one TRULY has the right to inherit his Kenyan Usurper Dictator Of America throne.

It started early in the debate, when Sanders trotted out a now common attack on Hillary -- that regardless of her experience, she voted for the big dumb stupid Iraq war, so she is a big dumb stupid -- and Hillary pointed out (again) that despite how dumb she is, Obama still wanted her for Secretary Of State, so ZING, point to Hillary we guess? Or to Bernie? We're #TeamWhatever on that one.

But toward the end of the debate, that's when it got WORDS up in there, and Hillary started it, just like she started Benghazi with her pantsuitslol@aol.com email account:

[T]oday Senator Sanders said that President Obama failed the presidential leadership test. And this is not the first time that he has criticized President Obama. In the past he has called him weak. He has called him a disappointment.

He wrote a foreword for a book that basically argued voters should have buyers' remorse when it comes to President Obama's leadership and legacy.

And I just couldn't ... disagree more with those kinds of comments. You know, from my perspective, maybe because I understand what President Obama inherited, not only the worst financial crisis but the antipathy of the Republicans in Congress, I don't think he gets the credit he deserves for being a president who got us out of that put us on firm ground, and has sent us into the future. And it is a -- the kind of criticism that we've heard from Senator Sanders about our president I expect from Republicans. I do not expect from someone running for the Democratic nomination to succeed President Obama.

UH OH, BERNIE, what are you gonna SAY? She just said she was the gayest for Obama and you did Republican Obama libel!

Madam Secretary, that is a low blow.

He is going to say it is a "low blow," that is what. Bernie said a bunch about how many times he and Obama have helped a buddy out (to make progress, you pervs!), and then continued:

But you know what? Last I heard we lived in a democratic society. Last I heard, a United States senator had the right to disagree with the president, including a president who has done such an extraordinary job.

So I have voiced criticisms. You're right. Maybe you haven't. I have. But I think to suggest that I have voiced criticism, this blurb that you talk about, you know what the blurb said? The blurb said that the next president of the United States has got to be aggressive in bringing people into the political process.

That's what I said. That is what I believe.

President Obama and I are friends. As you know, he came to Vermont to campaign for me when he was a senator. I have worked for his re-election. His first election and his re-election.

But I think it is really unfair to suggest that I have not been supportive of the president. I have been a strong ally with him on virtually every issue. Do senators have the right to disagree with the president? Have you ever disagreed with a president? I suspect you may have.

Take that, Hillzmonster Jones! Bernie can love people even if they disagree sometimes, it's called being a Growned Up. And sometimes when two people love each other very much but are having a little spat over policy, they write forewords in books about how the other person sux.

Hillary countered that hey, yeah, sure, My Best Pal "O" and I have disagreed or whatever, but at least I ain't never called him "weak" or said I had "buyers' remorse" about him.

Bernard had a #zinger for that too:

Well, one of us ran against Barack Obama. I was not that candidate.

Well, BING BONG! That was either a really super great line (if you are #FeelingTheBern) or that was kind of lame, considering how Hillz and Obama ran for president for the first time simultaneously, and it's not like Hillary just woke up one day, having never thought about running for president every single waking moment of her life since she was borned, and decided to run just to stop the foreign Muslim from stealing the White House.

Again, we're gonna have to go for #TeamWhatever, because we like Hillary and Bernie both a whole lot and Wonkette is a place for making love and not INTERNECINE DEMOCRATIC TWITTER WAR. But we can guarantee you one thing: This argument is going to come up A LOT, because if there is one thing (most) Democrats agree on, it is that President Obama is the Kenyan Muslim Gay Usurper of our hearts, forever and ever amen.

Hi Barry :)

[debate transcript via Washington Post]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.


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