Hillary Clinton Tells Republicans What They Can Do With Their Damn 'Civility'


My soul sister Hillary Clinton came out swinging Tuesday in a CNN interview where she observed, because she is alive and has full possession of her faculties, that the Republican Party is a bunch of gangsters and gangsters are bad news.

"You cannot be civil with a political party that wants to destroy what you stand for, what you care about," Clinton said in an interview with CNN's Christiane Amanpour. "That's why I believe, if we are fortunate enough to win back the House and or the Senate, that's when civility can start again. But until then, the only thing that the Republicans seem to recognize and respect is strength."

Civility can begin once we've electorally disarmed those who can hurt us. Seems reasonable. Clinton went on to describe the modern-day GOP as "driven by the lust for power," and "funded by corporate interests who want a government that does its bidding." Then she got funky.

"Hill-Boogie spars with stars and constellations. Then came down for a little conversation. Adjacent to the king, fear no human being. Roll with cherubims to Nassau Coliseum. Now hear this mixture, where Hip Hop meets scripture. Develop a negative into a positive picture."

OK, she didn't say that last part, but the people's president was spitting fire.

All that truth triggered multiple alarms in the White House, and the caped con artist Kellyanne Conway rushed to the "Lying-mobile" to stamp it out. It's always a gas with her. What alternate reality will Conway whip out of her utility belt to insult our intelligence with this time?

"Usually when she opens her mouth, respectfully, she offends at least one half of the country, and she did it again, but I think her discourse now is a little bit dangerous," Conway said in an appearance on the White House lawn.

"I don't like the implications there," she said. "It's one thing to call us deplorable, irredeemable, laugh at people who don't have all the privileges that she has had with her Ivy League law degree and her marriage to a much more popular man who was actually was a two-term president that she'll never be. . . . I don't like that kind of talk. I avoid it."

Uh, what just happened here? Conway hurled an insult cream pie at Clinton and then has the audacity to say, "I don't like that kind of talk. I avoid it." It's like Aaron Burr standing over Alexander Hamilton as he bled out and insisting, "Honestly? I don't like duels. Something like this always happens. And who gets blamed? The guy who's still alive." But then Conway chose to just blow our minds with uncut, concentrated absurdity.

"My boss has called for civility. He says he represents all Americans."

Conway works for Donald Trump not the ghost of Fred Rogers. Trump literally just published an op-ed in USA Today, like, today that was nothing but lies and libels of liberals with some helpful punctuation the USA Today editors added when transcribing it from the original roll of toilet paper.

The truth is that the centrist Democratic Party is dead. The new Democrats are radical socialists who want to model America's economy after Venezuela.

(He also literally, last night, called Democrats "evil.")

You'll note that self-declared Democratic Socialists such as Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez usually refer to the economies of Sweden, Norway, and Denmark when discussing their nefarious plans. But countries like Denmark are predominately white with record levels of happiness. Venezuela has a white minority, so the "failed stated" rhetoric is a not-so-subtle dog whistle. That is what the US could become with all those brown people voting for "free stuff."

It's also why Trump and the GOP's talk of "angry mobs" confronting innocent Republicans scare white people so much. We like to avoid addressing the growing reality that the US is practically two separate nations: a conservative, predominately white one that the Republican Party represents and a left-of-center one that is predominately people of color, LGBT, and hippies of all creeds. When Conway, Trump, or McConnell warn of Democrats such as Hillary Clinton "stirring up the mob," they are conjuring a specific image that is direct from the work of D.W. Griffith.

Fortunately, Maxine Waters isn't having it. Aunt Maxine correctly pointed out how peaceful protest fully (well, mostly) integrated minorities and women of all races into society. She even literally brought receipts of Trump promoting actual violence at his rallies. If anyone knows about mobs, it's Don Trump.

Trump has headlined regular campaign rallies where he viciously attacks Waters, Elizabeth Warren, and Dianne Feinstein. Feinstein has even joined Clinton in eliciting a round of hearty "lock her ups" from his slack-jawed yokel supporters, just last night! The GOP can't credibly talk about "civility" when the sitting president and leader of their party gets his jollies by raising a lynch mob against women who are all eligible for senior citizen discounts. I don't expect Trump to open doors for women or even his own wife, but at the very least don't hand out Trump brand pitchforks and torches at your rallies.

Conservatives have long defined "civility" and "respect" as submission and obedience. It's what they demand from us and will never return. Now, the women of the left are vocally telling Republicans what they can do with their calls for "civility." True, some Democrats are running scared and trying to play by the "old rules" that never applied in the first place. Senator Heidi Heitkamp -- who I'm still grateful didn't dial "yes" for "rapist" -- said Clinton's comments were "ridiculous."

"I mean I can't imagine how you get anything done if you don't bring civility back into politics, and that goes for both sides," Heitkamp lamented. I don't know, lady, ask the Republicans who are chasing you out of office. They've managed quite well.

I recall the words of Malcolm X: "We are peaceful people. We are loving people. We love everybody who loves us. But we don't love anybody who doesn't love us." Seems fair, right? However, conservatives have no intention of ever "loving" or even respecting us, so they can only see this as a call to arms. Clinton and Waters are peaceful people, but they won't live in a fantasy world, no matter how rhetorically comfortable, and neither should we.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Seattle. However, he's more reliable for food and drink recommendations in Portland, where he spends a lot of time for theatre work. His co-adaptation of "Jitterbug Perfume" by Tom Robbins is playing NOW at Pioneer Square's Cafe Nordo. All Wonketters welcome.

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