His Sharia Analysis Was Based On Repeated Viewings Of Suddenly Last Summer
So we don't want to horn in on Little Green Footballs' schtick or anything, but it turns out that some Muslim religious leaders have some fundamental problems with Western values -- specifically, those of us in the West who value ass-fucking. In June, International Association of Muslim Scholars leader Sheikh Yousuf Al-Qaradhawi shared some of his thoughts on the gays with al-Jazeera, which are charming:
- There's disagreement as to how gays should be punished: some say they should be "burned," others that "we should throw them from a high place," and so on.
- "Lesbianism is not as bad as homosexuality, in practical terms." Left unspoken because it's obvious is that this is because man-on-man is icky and gross while girl-on-girl is HOTTTTT.
- Staying in the closet is the Islamic thing to do: "When sin and abomination are concealed, they don't cause much harm."
This is all pretty unsurprising, but what most caught our eyes were the opening quote:
Kerry, who ran against Bush, was supported by homosexuals and nudists. But it was Bush who won [the elections], because he is Christian, right-wing, tenacious, and unyielding. In other words, the religious overcame the perverted. So we cannot blame all Americans and Westerners.
If we had known that there were going to be nudists, we would have totally been full-time volunteers! I'll bet that pretty much all the behind-the-scenes campaign work -- the phone banking, the filing, the policy discussion -- happened nude. And then sometimes the candidate himself and his wife would come in and WAIT MENTAL IMAGE TOO TERRIFYING ABORT ABORT ABORT ARRGGGGH.
Not content to pick on the West, al-Qaradhawi turns his sights closer to home:
Interviewer: Some Arab authors have begun to discuss this openly, in newspapers and in their books. Homosexual characters appear in some Arab films. In addition, homosexuals gather in public, and show up at parties in a loathsome manner.
Yousuf Al-Qaradhawi: Not in all countries, only a few...
Interviewer: In many Arab countries.
Yousuf Al-Qaradhawi: Perhaps you in Morocco have that...
Interviewer: Not only in Morocco. Also in other countries, which I won't mention.
OH SNAP HE JUST CALLED YOU MOROCCANS A BUNCH OF HOMOS!
Al Jazeera: Muslim Cleric, Burn or Throw Gays off High Places? [The Petrelis Files]