History's Fattest Junkie Mocks Clinton's War on Lard
We knew we wouldn't be the only ones to make blow job jokes about Bill Clinton's new campaign to get young people to eat healthier. We just figured Laura "My Husband Hand-Fucks Farm Beasts" Bush would be next with the quips. Instead, it's Rush Limbaugh. "I have the phrase [for Clinton's program]. 'Just don't swallow,'" chortled the pot-bellied populist, perhaps in between mouthfuls of mayonnaise. "Just don't swallow. You know, a lot of people are saying, 'Is he is he going to suggest this diet to Monica?' Well, we'll just have to wait and see." We always enjoy conservative smut, but on the way there, though, Rush got a little paranoid, predicting a nightmare future where government calorie cops make you "surrender control over what your kids eat" and force you "out of the equation altogether." Relax, big fella. You've got an inalienable right to devour all the cheeseburgers you like, and only God can take that away from you. Dig in!— GREG BEATO
Bubba's Anti-Fat Plan: Just Don't Swallow [RushLimbaugh.com]