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Hog-Castrating Senate Candidate: Stephen Colbert Brings You Every Possible Testicle Joke

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This little piggy cried


Without a Todd Aiken, a Christine O'Donnell, or a Sharron Angle this time around, Iowa Senate candidate Joni Ernst and her cheerful ad about castrating hogs and politicians are just about the best thing to happen to the 2014 campaign so far. So here's Stephen Colbert with almost all the possible ball-cutting-off jokes in the world. Is the segment juvenile and snickering? You bet your sweet ass it is -- and we wouldn't expect anything less.

We've watched this thing about five times now, and we just keep giggling. Just don't look in Stephen's shed.

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Times have been tough for those Trump supporters who are fine with his rampant bigotry but are discovering he's going to screw them like any number of non-wife-like women he totally swears he's never met.

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Jesse Kelly, the failed Arizona congressional candidate who thought he could take Gabby Giffords's former seat with a combination of word salad and support from white supremacists, has landed himself a sweet gig in the wingnuttosphere, where he writes columns for "The Federalist" and recently started a very dumb Youtube channel. This week, his very creative mind brings us a fantasia on America's inevitable slide into socialism, and a vow that unlike lots of sheeple, he won't go down without taking some liberal scalps. He insists he means that metaphorically, which is why he begins by a detailed description of taking a human scalp:

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