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Homeless Man Unwittingly Learns Secret to Earning 'Teabagger Bucks'

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Gustav Bozarth is a homeless man who lives in El Paso, a city in the Holy Sovereign Nation of Texas. Every day, he probably has to deal with people telling him to “git a jawwwwwwb” or calling him a “buhhhmmm,” or maybe just ignoring him. But now that surveillance video of Bozarth folding up a fallen flag has beenbroadcast on Fox News, Real American Patriots are waddling to the nearest socialist post office to send him money. Too bad Bozarth doesn’t have a home address where he can actually receive the money!


Reports the Fox News foxes:

Bozarth ... braved driving rain and strong winds to carefully fold an American flag that fell to the ground when a storm knocked down a flagpole.

[...]

Social media sites have been flooded with comments expressing gratitude to the homeless man, calling him everything from a patriot to a "true American hero."

"Give him a job, health insurance and a home!" one YouTube viewer posted under the surveillance video.

Sounds like socialism! Does this mean that all an American has to do to “deserve” basic human rights is to find a flag somewhere, and fold it? Sweet. (Oh -- 61-star flags don’t count.)

Employees at Meti, Inc., a federal contractor and owner of the fallen flag, say they were “shocked” when they learned that the flag had ended up on the ground because of weather and not vandals, or the Vandals. But they were “even more shocked” to learn that the good Samaritan was homeless, because of their classist conditioning.

The Fox affiliate in Dallas reports that Bozarth lives behind a warehouse with two cats (Lynx and Bobcat) and a television (probably so he can watch flag-folding instructional videos). But no mailbox, or checking account! Which is making it very hard for his new patriot admirers to send him any money. But don’t worry, people are working on it. [Fox News]

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