Homoeroticism On Display!

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Why is our Savior donning a football jersey? In betweenfiring black people and brainwashing children, even he knows that the end of summer means the start of football season. College football began this past weekend and the NFL starts sometime soonish too.  Thus, you will need bars, bars with MULTIPLE TEEVEES (in high definition, of course) where you can watch all this joyful gayness, and so we give you sports bars:


  • Momo's Sports Bar: This bar is cheating because it tells you it's a sports bar. ANYWAY this place has millions of TVs spread over 3 floors. Any game you could ever want to watch will be one of these TVs. (It may even be on multiple TVs at once!) Buckets of Miller Lite are only $15 and the bar food is unusually good.
  • Cleveland Park Bar and Grill: Football is best enjoyed with authentic Italian and classic American fare, says CP Bar and Grill, and thus this is another fine football-watching destination. They have the DirecTV satellite system with 27 TVs, which means that you can be overstimulated and watch tons and tons of football. Also, they win because they have 6 plasma TVs on their rooftop deck.
  • Pourhouse: Here you thought this bar was only good because of the abundance of interns it houses during summer months, but wait, it too is a TV saturated football watching destination. It has OVER 15 FLAT SCREEN TVs (which, come to think of it, really isn't that many) and 2 of them are plasma.
  • Buffalo Billiards: Known to some as the Mecca of sports bars, Buffalo Billiards shows every single football game on one of their 9,000 plasma, high definition, satellite, kids tested, mother approved,  televisions. And if you are particularly A.D.D., they also have 19 pool tables, 9 shuffleboard, 5 darts boards, and a jukebox.
  • Nellie's Sports Bar: Where the gays do in fact huddle to watch football.

Sports Bar runners up include, the Penn Quarter Sports Tavern, Ventnor Sports Cafe, Rhino Bar and Pumphouse and, some even argue that Hooters in Chinatown is a prime football watching venue.

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