House Speaker Asks Former Pages to Say They're OK to an Answering Machine
Is Dennis Hastert, in addition to being the silliest-looking, also the dumbest member of the House?
Speaker Hastert Announces Page Program Tip Line Number
"As the Speaker I take responsibility for everything in the building. The buck stops here. The safety and security of the students in the Page program is imperative.
"That is why I directed the Clerk of the House to establish a hotline for reporting any information concerning Pages or the Page program. As of this morning, the Clerk of the House has activated the tip-line. It is for anyone with information regarding the Foley matter. This number can also be used to report any other concerns regarding the Page program.
The Page program tip line is 866-348-0481." The greeting for the tip line is as follows:
"Thank you for calling the tip line for the United States House of Representatives. If you have information regarding former Congressman Mark Foley and his contacts or communications with any current or former House Pages, or any other information or concern about the House Page program, please leave your information at the tone. Please speak slowly and clearly, and please spell out any names to which you refer. You are encouraged, but not required, to leave your name and contact information. You should be aware of any information you provide may be referred to federal and state law enforcement authorities and/or to House investigative authorities. Thank you for your call."
The line is up and running -- we just called -- and the message is a soothing, calm, motherly woman's voice. Not, as we'd hoped, Representative Hastert's. We didn't leave a message, though we may call back and claim Foley stood us up for dinner when he learned we were legal.
But yeah, this voicemail is great damage control. Good work, Denny. We would've gone for, like, a chat bot or something. All the kids have AIM accounts, right?
How Unfortunate [The Corner]