Donate

House Urinal Explodes: All House Reporters Soaked In Piss, Hopefully

News

Where were you on 6/4/12? This is the day that America got its groove back, after the world's worst people -- reporters -- in the world's worst institution -- the House of Representatives -- saw aurinal explode and soak them in pee and chewing tobacco pouches and mostly 100% water, more likely, but also perhaps that morning turd that some schlub keeps poppin' in the urinal. They say you learn a lot about yourself after losing your first fight. Well, you learn a lot more after having that first urinal explode and hurl acid all over you. America's back, baby. Exploding Urinal/Santelli '16?


Tell us how it went down, National Journal?

A big splash occurred on Monday morning at the House Press Gallery in the U.S. Capitol.

No, this wasn’t one of those unexpected guest appearances for celebrities to talk to reporters about some favorite cause.

Oh god ENOUGH WITH YOUR CUTESY LEDES; what's up with the exploding piss box?

This splash came from an exploding urinal. More specifically, something suddenly broke in the piping of the third-floor urinal, and water began spewing from beneath the men’s room door.

As the water flowed, it first surrounded the Associated Press’s working area, then spread toward both ends of the gallery, which was occupied by fewer than usual reporters and staffers, because the House is out of session until Tuesday.

Capitol Police officers, gallery staff, and other U.S. Capitol personnel moved to contain the flow. In doing so, they found a use, finally, for the gallery's stacks of unread newspapers, magazines, and other periodicals, as makeshift sponges and sandbags.

Employees from the Architect of the Capitol and other Capitol staffers managed to eventually stop the geyser. In came vacuums to suck up the water, and a section of the gallery carpeting was taken up – leaving behind a sticky floor.

REPORTERS/HILL STAFFERS: Can you tell us more? Which House reporter got covered in the most "water"? "Water" in scare quotes because maybe the "water" was "brown"? Email jim@wonkette.com with your hot urinal massacre stories/pix/sealed evidence please, thank you.

[National Journal]

$
Donate with CC

Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

SINGLE & MONTHLY DONATIONS

SUPPORT THE CAUSE - PAYPAL DONATION

PAYPAL RECURRING DONATIONS

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc

SUPPORT THE CAUSE

Donate