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How Do You Solve A Problem Like Macedonia?

There is no better word for these people than 'Macedonians'Macedonia wants to join NATO, but it can't unless it changes its name. You see, existing NATO member Greece also has a province called "Macedonia," and it doesn't want anyone to get confused. Last month a U.N. special negotiator put forward a list of five names that Macedonia might want to consider, but the country turned up its nose in horrified disgust. What were these terrible alternate names?


"Constitutional Republic of Macedonia, Democratic Republic of Macedonia, Independent Republic of Macedonia, New Republic of Macedonia, and Republic of Upper Macedonia."

No wonder they didn't bite. Macedonia needs a new and exciting name, like "Barack Obama." And now time is running out on the beleaguered Balkan country because the NATO summit us under way, as we speak!

U.N. mediator says Macedonia, Greece willing to solve name dispute [AP]

NATO Could Block Macedonia Over Name [New York Times]

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Voters in Oklahoma approved a June ballot initiative making medical marijuana legal, and in response, the state's Republican establishment has gone into full Reefer Madness Freakout Mode, certain that if anyone gets a prescription for wacky tobacky, folks will be smoking marijuana in Muskogee, and wearing roman sandals instead of leather boots. Among those getting in on the fun of a full-on political panic was Julie Ezell, the general counsel for the State Department of Health, who resigned last week after it was revealed she'd written threatening emails to herself and claimed they'd been sent by dangerous weed advocates. Ezell was charged Tuesday with making a false police report and generally being a narc in the incident. Authorities are said to be weighing an uptight buzzkill enhancement.

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Two days ago, Donald Trump pulled off his stinky diaper, rubbed it into his orange hair, and shouted WHERE'S MUH PARADE? He'd just emerged from a two-hour, closed-door meeting with a former KGB officer, confident that his manly charm and unfailing natural instincts had carried the day again. Putin said he didn't hack the DNC, and why ever not wouldn't Trump just not believe him!

So, what did Trump and Putin discuss when they were mano-a-mano? Only Vladimir Putin's listening device knows! Donald Trump is a stable genius, and geniuses don't take notes!

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