How Does a NeoCon Vampire Get a Job at the World Bank, Anyway?

worldbanklogo.jpgWe ain't gonna front. Our grasp of the ins and outs of international economics is never going to pay the bills. Shit, our take on globalization is limited to the observation that there seems to be one group of people who go around picking up third-world orphans by the ankles and shaking them until every last coin falls out--like they were the motherfuckin' RIAA or something!, another group of people get all pissed off and decamp to Davos with a bunch of papier-mache puppets and balloons filled with liquidized feces, and all the while, in some forgotten wilderness, a naked Joe Stiglitz stumbles around with a thin trickle of blood running from his nostril, moaning, "Whyyyy won't anybody listen to meeee?"

So how does a guy like Wolfowitz get a job at the World Bank? How does anyone? The LA Times thought Bono should run the place, and between a ninny-pants rockstar who wants to uplift the world with his broguish elegies to his Continental tax dodges and a Bushite who uses a gigantic juicer housed at the Pentagon hotdog stand to milk and drink the stem cells of war refugees--that's casting a pretty wide net! Did they switch from -ensohn to -owitz to save on stationery costs?

Anyway, we suspect that this is how the job of Saving The World ends up getting tasked to Ryan Seacrest. And really--who's going to be the last man to die for that mistake?


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