How To Beat Donald Trump If You Don't Actually Agree With Him
Not that tough
Donald Trump, right? GAHHH UGH GRRRR ARGH, Donald goddamned Trump. He is gross and disgusting and awful and terrible and all of that all over again, times a million infinity plus two. The worse he is, the more his fans love him. And they LOVE him. They love him so hard, he could shoot a guy in Reno, or on 5th Avenue, just to watch him die, and they'd buy more Trump hats to wear on their squishy heads. He knows it, and they've said as much. Here is one such Trump fan:
“There’s nothing short of Trump shooting my daughter in the street and my grandchildren — there is nothing and nobody that’s going to dissuade me from voting for Trump,” Ms. [Lola] Butler said.
A few quick questions for Ms. Butler, a 71-year-old retiree in Louisiana: What if Trump just shoots her daughter, but he leaves the grandkids alone? What if he shoots her daughter in the privacy of her own home? What if he maims the daughter but wipes out the children? Does he really have to publicly execute Ms. Butler's daughter and grandchildren for him to lose her vote?
It's enough to make you starting Binging Jeeves on how to move to Canada. Trump was supposed to be a fake candidate, not the actual front-runner of the Republican primary. And yet here we are. All of those Republicans -- the establishment ones, the tough guy ones, the "won Iowa once upon a time" ones, the one with a vagina one, the super PAC-backed ones, the rising star ones -- have utterly failed to land a single blow on Trump. They come at him, and they lose. They fail. And in at least a couple cases, they turn into his good little submissive.
Trump is so good at his game that former rival-now-supporter Dr. Ben Carson said this week he didn't mind that Trump compared Carson to a child molester, back in November, because in the doctor's admiring words, "You have to admit to some degree that it did work."
So, you are no doubt wondering, where's the good news? How do we stop this terrible monster from becoming the next president? Ahhh, here's the good news. Allow one presidential candidate who, unlike all of Trump's Republican competitors, does not share any of his views to show you how it's done:
Hate isn't an American value. Division isn't something to be glorified. We can’t let Donald Trump be our next president.Posted by Hillary Clinton on Thursday, March 17, 2016
At our best, Americans have rejected demagogues and fear mongers. You don't make America great by getting rid of everything that made America great in the first place.
It is not that hard to stand against Donald Trump. Unless you agree with him. Unless your problem with Trump is not what he's saying, but how he's saying it. That's why none of Trump's GOP rivals can take him down. They don't know how because the worst they can say about him is that he shouldn't be quite so blunt when spewing the platform of the Republican Party. Oh, and that he has a small dick.
The Democratic primary is not over yet, but you can bet your bottom dollar, your top dollars, and the spare change under your sofa cushions that Hillary Bernard Rodham Sanders can take on Trump's hate a hell of a lot better than any Republican can. Because opposing the divisive, destructive, racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, un-American "values" of the GOP is easy to do when you haven't pledged, in the name of St. Reagan, to uphold them.
And if we're wrong -- but really, we do not think we are -- well, there's always Canada, we guess. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.
We'll be in our bunk.