How To Empty Your Bowels Every Morning. This Surgeon Tells You How! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 29, 2020


Igor Fruman wants Lev Parnas to take back his documents from Congress. We are Not A Lawyer, but surely "no backsies" and the doctrine of The Zipper Is Out Of The Barn apply? (Talking Points Memo)

McConnell says he lacks votes to block witnesses (Washington Post). That's a shame.

Josh at TPM has a few thoughts on Alan Dershowitz, and they are MEAN THOUGHTS! A Few Thoughts of a Critical Nature on the Self-Regarding Buffoon Alan Dershowitz

Joan Walsh on the cowardly Senate and John Bolton's book. Should you use one of your five The Nation pageviews? Absolutely!

How to Spot a Liar, by Pamela Meyer

How to charge your electric vehicle with solar panels. Just thinking ahead!

Here's an interesting old read from the SPLC!

Jessica Valenti writes about the Washington Post unaccountably suspending its reporter for tweeting a factual news story about the Kobe Bryant rape case settlement, in which Bryant apologized (very nicely!) for his actions. "Why Do Men's Legacies Matter More Than Women's Safety? A Washington Post reporter was harassed after tweeting a story about the rape accusations against Kobe Bryant. The paper punished her." (Medium)

Our favorite writer Samantha Irby watches TV again some more.

And this concludes the shortest tabs yet because mama got things to do! Wait, what's this? Just one more?

Commie Girl Industries??? Why, that's ME!!!

Oh no, I hope we'll prevail against the guy who sued President Barack Obama, Louis Farrakhan, Eric Holder, Al Sharpton and Black Lives Matter for starting a race war (or as we waggishly put it, "all the black people"), and who called all the people who worked in the Obama administration "his white slaves" (which in our opinion, along with a whole host of other evidence, sounds like white supremacy!), and who was the subject of a HARROWING disciplinary proceeding for which we read all 185 pages including the footnotes, and in which we learned this:

[He] files nine-page single-spaced motions that are repetitive, rambling, and ELEVEN MONTHS LATE, and also he lies flagrantly about really disprovable things like whining that he was not ALLOWED to have discovery when the judge invited him to move for discovery and then he fucked off and never even did it but he still said he'd been denied discovery?" because again, we are Not A Lawyer. But it seems like those would make Klayman -- who is currently representing such luminaries as Jerome Corsi and Laura Loomer as well as convening a "citizens grand jury" to indict and arrest Robert Mueller -- bad at his chosen profession.

Gee, wouldn't it be weird if the complaint only included that last sentence?

Also we don't live in Los Angeles, you putz. We live in Montana, where we moved five years ago to marry our husband and bear our heiress!

someone got into mama's lipstick!

Also also, it's weird that he DID include THIS:

*Nota bene, Wonkette believes that Sataki's fleeing Klayman's car and seeking refuge from his rage and unwanted advances shows that Klayman's behavior qualifies as "stalking," per the Department of Justice, which defines it as "engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress." Go sue someone else, LARRY.

If he's suing us all the time, when will he find time to sue his own mom?

Your Wonkette, as Larry Klayman helpfully explains, runs on donations only. If you're so inspired, won't you click the thing?

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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