• Hairy Reid's pimping past is finally coming to light, thanks to a polygraph received by his former campaign manager. The results are to be revealed on a future episode of The Maury Show, where Reid will fall for a sexy decoy before finding out that he IS NOT THE FATHER. [RedState]
  • Hooray! "Christian Civilization" is at an end, thanks to the gays. Finally we can shake off the tyrant pope, and pop birth control candies all day long. [Catholic Exchange]
  • 69% of assholes think everyone else is an asshole. [Rasmussen]
  • Once again, Christians are the most oppressed super-majority in the country; all because of the secret Muslin Mike Bloomberg who wants to impose Sharia law to earn more ShariaBucks®, which he will spend building terrorist minarets all over New York. [Doug Ross]
  • Notorious genius Barack Obama's University of Phoenix degree in TV/VCR repair isn't impressing people like it used to. [American Thinker]

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