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Howard Kurtz Appoints Himself Chief Constabulary Of The Islamic Religious Police

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Prepare to clutch your pearls, wonketeers. We have on our hands a tawdry display of vile sexuality that absolutely DEMANDS to be shown to the world. It seems thata politician errr, a journalist the private-citizen daughter-in-law of a retired journalist has put up some super-racy photos on the Facebooks! Gasp! and bring me a cool mint julep for my sensibilities have been affronted. And Howard Kurtz is ON THE CASE!


Don't remember who Howard Kurtz is? He used to be the host of CNN’s Reliable Sources, a teevee show dedicated to talking about the media, whereby media elites would talk to other media elites on the teevee about media folks on teevee and in journamilism. Apparently the show name Circle Jerk was already taken. After like a million years, he decided to jump ship for Fox News because apparently he was unable to express his full magnitude of dickishness at CNN.

Fresh off getting his ass so fired from Daily Beast, Kurtz is fitting into his new role at Fox News nicely. Rather than report on actual news (you know, debt ceiling, Syria, immigration reform, Miley Cyrus), Kurtz bizarrely decided to attack Pari Bradlee, the daughter-in-law of respected Washington Post journalist Ben Bradlee:

Her new [Facebook] profile picture, in a Swiss-cheese bra that leaves little to the imagination and long black leather sleeves and briefs, is so revealing that it drew a torrent of breathless comments. In another just-posted photo she is nude, shot from the back, twisting one arm behind her.

Egads! We shall have to sexplore this unseemly graphic XXXXX-rated facebook stuff! 

We here at Wonket did our due diligence and looked at said pictures on Facebook. They were quite fetching! Also, Howard Kurtz is out of his fucking mind if he thinks these are “R-rated pictures,” or “a quick way to grab attention.” Howard Kurtz, though, does not think Howard Kurtz is out of his mind. Nor, apparently, does he find it unseemly to appoint himself a member of the Mutaween? Instead, Kurtz asks, "Do the pictures go too far?"

No, you backwards ass-goblin. The nude pic mentioned in the quote is a yoga pose, and it looks hard to do and there is nothing racy or too far about it at all - not even sideboob or anything.

There was nothing that any reasonable human being could find offensive. But in order to make his case wordcount, he quotes her friends who commented on her Facebook photos, which everyone knows is the height of journalistic integrity:

The Hamptons photo shoot, conducted by an old friend, Barry Fidnick, prompted friends to post such comments as "HOTT THANG!!!!", "u look sexual" and "Turning this gay man STRAIGHT!"

Kids these days, amirite? Clearly, due to these selected comments on some of Bradlee's 1,900+ photos, it shows that this is a story well worth reporting in a national media outlet. But wait - there's more shockingly shocking journalimilism to come.

Seriously, prepare to have your mind fucking blown SO HARD:

And her husband obviously approves: he "liked" the picture on her page.

Goddam, we need our own Wonket Siren like Drudge, because this is such amazing journalism, proving that these provocative photos have GONE TOO FAR.

So we’re not surprised by these comments by Peri Bradlee’s mother-in-law, Sally Quinn, via MediaMatters:

"I guess it's been a slow news week. I just don't know what he's up to, would I go after a friend's child? No," she said.

Oh, did we mention that Kurtz worked at the Washington Post from 1981 to 2010? And so clearly knows both Sally Quinn and Ben Bradlee? This only makes him all the more of a giant used condom smathered with Santorum.

In sum, fuck Kurtz, and mazel tov for fitting in so well at Fox.

[Fox News / Huffington Post / Media Matters via Politico]

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NYT video screenshot

The New York Times this weekend brought us a case study of how Donald Trump's family separation policy tore apart just one family last year, although this particular example is notable because it involves the youngest child known -- so far -- to have been taken from his parents at the US-Mexico border. Little Constantin Mutu was just four months old when he was taken from his father, Vasile, a Romanian seeking asylum in the USA, having believed all that outdated crap about the Statue of Liberty being the "Mother of Exiles." What a sap! We're not letting those tempest-tossed takers push US around any more!

Constantin was taken from his dad in February of 2018, a good two months before the Trump administration officially announced the family separation policy -- but which we now know had been operating covertly since the summer of 2017 before it was expanded last year. Vasile and Florentina Mutu, members of the Roma ethnic minority, came to the US seeking asylum after Florentina found out that when she'd had a C-section while giving birth to Constantin, the doctors had also sterilized her without her knowing it. She said she was handed papers while she was foggy from the pain of labor, and had no idea what she was signing, and reporter Caitlin Dickerson notes "human rights groups have documented the practice of forced sterilizations" of Roma elsewhere in Europe.

And the Mutus had heard all sorts of wonderful things about America, too. They made a living by leaving their village and begging or doing short-term labor around Europe, then going home, where life was less expensive, but some people from their village had reputedly gone to the US and become rich, although maybe those stories were exaggerated. Still,

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