Hardly a day goes by when the senior wrong-about-every-goddamned-thing-EVER senator from Arizona doesn't give us some reason to hate ourselves simply because we have to breathe the same air that he greedily steals into his lungs. And today is no exception:


Without even reading the Washington Post story that is excellent news for John McCain, we can guess the gist of it. Finally -- finally -- the war boner with which John McCain was born a thousand years ago when spawned from Satan's rotted heart is catching on, and all the Republicans are singing his "Bomb, bomb, bomb" tune, and that makes him SO happy. Gratified. Almost sated, even, except that John McCain will never be sated until he personally gets to press the red button and blow up the whole goddamned planet.

But let's do something John McCain would never do and make sure we are correct before we jump to all the wrong conclusions.

A roiling national debate over how to deal with the radical Islamic State and other global hot spots has prompted a sudden shift in Republican politics, putting a halt to the anti-interventionist mood that had been gaining credence in the party. [...]

A thirst among many conservative activists for a more muscular U.S. foreign policy was clear over the weekend at a meeting of Americans for Prosperity, the tea-party-affiliated group backed by the billionaire Koch brothers. The loudest applause came when Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.), a potential presidential candidate, called for bombing the Islamic State “back to the Stone Age.”

Well, blow us over like a desert tumbleweed. Guess we were right. There's more, of course. Insistence by former National Republican Senatorial Committee spokesman Brian Walsh that "things are moving back in that [hawkish] direction, reflecting the mood of most Americans who are angry at what they’re seeing." Yeah. Sure. Okay. Because Americans are demanding that we go Back To Iraq And Whatever Other Countries We Can Google Map. Even though all the most hawkish hawks who ever chickenhawked have been tsk-tsking us for being a bunch of war-weary pussies who need to be "awakened and rallied" because there are still unbombed countries out there, you know, and in the words of Bill Kristol, whose record of being wrong on every goddamned thing rivals even McCain's, "What’s the harm of bombing [ISIS] at least for a few weeks and seeing what happens?"

Naturally, the Post has further insight from Kristol, to which McCain is also no doubt furiously masturbating like it's the summer of 2008 and he just googled "lady Republican governors":

What heartens me is that [candidates] are going beyond that criticism and talking about the need for a different approach, about how we can’t freak out when someone mentions potentially putting boots on the ground.

Nothing heartens and gratifies bloodthirsty hawks like the slightest signs that Americans are once again experiencing their traditional-as-apple-pie amnesia about who got us into this eternal war with Eastasia. It doesn't matter how we got there or why we got there, say the very assholes who got us there (yeah, Judith Miller, we're including you in that group), except, of course, that they are still insisting they were right all along, and they'd actually won the war, and stupid America-hating drum-circle hippies sure owe everyone an apology for stupidly suggesting that going into Iraq was a mistake, that there were no weapons of mass destruction, that "daddy issues" is not a legitimate justification for invading a country, that it would take more than "weeks, not months" to sprinkle our democracy fertilizer and watch it bloom, and that no, Tom Friedman, YOU should "Suck. On. This." And while we're at it, let's be sure to give George Dubya the "credit for victory" John McCain said he deserves when he went back to the future of 2010 and won the war, before wimpy worse-than-Hitler mom-jeans-wearing President Obama went and un-won it by usurping the White House.

But America has never been good at listening to people who are actually right about things -- hey, it's breezy outside today, so "climate" "change" is a "hoax" perpetrated by the 110 percent of "scientists" who say otherwise -- so it's not as if we should stop listening to the very same assholes, like McCain and the doves-turned-hawks-hooray! assholes who now agree with him. War is hell, man, and hell is eternal.

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