Most US Americans took a rare day off yesterday from being total dicks -- exception, as always, for Rep. Louie Gohmert, the newest supernova in the Cavalcade of Wonkette Stars -- but a few of our fellow citizens just could not keep the stupid from oozing out between their poo-flecked lips. Let us look at them, shaking our head in sadness at their total and complete lack of humanity, together.

Jim Hoft, America's Stupidest Pundit, let us start with you. Would you like to soulfully whine about something idiotic? You would? Fantastic. Here, in its entirety, is Hoft's post:

Barack Obama offered condolences today to the victims of the Aurora Theater shootings the best way he knows how – by talking about himself.

The president used “I”, “me” or “we” over 20 times and used it as an opportunity to talk about himself and his family.

Here’s part of his speech today:

My daughters go to the movies. What if Malia and Sasha had been at the theater, as so many of our kids do every day? Michelle and I will be fortunate enough to hug our girls a little tighter tonight, and I’m sure you will do the same with your children. But for those parents who may not be so lucky, we have to embrace them and let them know we will be there for them as a nation.

So, again, I am so grateful that all of you are here. I am so moved by your support.

And you’re surprised?

Yes, Jim Hoft. But what we are surprised about is that you would include Barack Obama speaking about "we as a nation" and you would count that as him talking about himself. Because we had no idea anyone could be that imbecilic and not be put down by the state of Texas.

The rest of the people we were going to link to all seem to be Alex Jones types who think James Holmes was a government operative who went on his spree so we could have gun control, but we are tired of linking to schizophrenics and then feeling bad about it, so we will just tell you: some people, who are probably schizophrenic, think James Holmes was a government operative who went on his spree so we could have gun control.

Everybody, the line for 6,000 rounds of ammo starts to the left. Haha, just kidding, you don't even have to stand in a line. Lines are for Communists. You just sit right there, we will bring your 6,000 rounds of ammo to your door.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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