If Kim Jong Un's Not Careful He Is Going To Give Millennials A Bad Name

If Kim Jong Un's Not Careful He Is Going To Give Millennials A Bad Name

Millennials! Always bossing their bosses, and wearing animal hats like they are four years old and they are Max in Where the Wild Things Are when they are not four and they are not Max in Where the Wild Things Are and also always executing their uncles, wait what?

Remember a few months ago Kim Jong Un, the boy dictator of North Korea, had his mistress shot in the noggin, along with pretty much anyone who'd ever met her? Breakups, so messy! Now, on the heels of the reported execution of his uncle, the Los Angeles Times informs us, "North Korea's youthful leader asserts himself, stirring unease." Is he? Is he "asserting" himself? Is he "stirring unease"? In our day, "assertiveness training" involved giving yourself permission to say "No" to others. And executing your uncle.

"He had to get rid of the grumpy old men," said Andrei Lankov, a North Korea scholar based in Seoul. "He couldn't be a boss with subordinates who are twice his age, who don't understand him and don't take him seriously."

Well I know I can't! Doktor Zoom will be reporting to the guards immediately. Snipy, as a fellow Gen Xer, may live.


Tell us more about the "youth moment" that is going on in North Korea, Los Angeles Times. Is Kim Jong Un building roller coasters and water parks for his "cult of youth"? Yes. Is Rodman coming to visit again next week? Yes too. Did he really just totally have to kill that old man, his uncle, the one who was in charge of all the boring "economy" stuff, and stuff? Totes man.

Along with the charges of plotting a coup, the report by the official Korean Central News Agency detailed petty grievances that Kim clearly had been nursing for the last two years. Among them: When a monument was built to showcase a letter written by Kim to a unit of the People's Internal Security Forces, [his uncle] Jang [Song Taek] directed that it be placed in a shady corner rather than in front of the building.

Jang also was accused of showing a lack of enthusiasm when Kim, while his father was leader, was promoted to vice chairman of the Central Military Commission. "He behaved so arrogantly and insolently, as unwillingly standing up from his seat and halfheartedly clapping," the report said.

And that's a shootin'.

We've said it before and we will say it again: can't trust the fucking Millennials.


Follow me on Twitter or whatever don't.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc