If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins
Now that Tennessee has murdered the Confederate flag on license plates, and is giving serious thought to removing a bust of Confederate general and founding KKK member Nathan Bedford Forrest from the Capitol building, some Democrats in the state legislature think maybe it would be a good idea to change the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park. The park was established in 1963, when for some reason there was a regular mania for naming things after Confederate heroes, but now some people think there's no good reason to sully a lovely recreational area with camping and hiking trails by keeping it named after a guy generally thought to be the Klan's first Grand Wizard.
Oh, but not so fast, says Republican state Sen. John Stevens. Isn't wiping away traces of the politically incorrect past exactly the same as what ISIS does when it destroys ancient Babylonian statues? Stevens was very careful not to be too friendly to the great general and Klansman; he just wanted to make sure we don't change the names of things too hastily, lest we suddenly start dynamiting antiquities all willy-nilly. He told the Jackson Sun,
"Here's the thing, I'm not for it or against it," Stevens said. "If people want to change the name of the park, change the name of the park. I'm certainly not going to defend Gen. Forrest. I just think it's a slippery slope when you start changing names and taking down statues.
"What separates us from ISIS?" Stevens asked. "Because that's what they do, they go around and tear down history in those nations that they've conquered. If that's what America is about now, then it concerns me."
As everyone knows, if you remove a Confederate general and Ku Klux Klan leader from a place of honor, or change the name of a park, you're just one step away from mass murder and looting entire museums. We've seen liberals do this so often before, like when Jacksonville, Florida's "Nathan B. Forrest High School" was was renamed "Westside High School" last year, a move that was followed by absolutely no widespread looting or rioting, and no smashing of ancient statues. Still, you never know. This could be the tipping point that leads to the sudden adoption of sharia law in all of Tennessee's state parks.
Forrest, by the way, never considered himself a racist or nothing, despite his dedication to using violence and terror to keep blacks in their place. As he explained, "I am not an enemy of the negro," Forrest said. "We want him here among us; he is the only laboring class we have."
Now how on earth could anyone have a problem with keeping his name on a state park?
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.